The other day I woke up feeling really grumpy. There was no apparent reason - although perhaps staying up too late the night before (again!), a lingering cold, or an earlier-than-usual morning alarm all didn't help. Anyone in my path was in danger of being snapped at. It didn't help the fact that everything appeared to be going wrong, or that the kids seemed a little more 'rambunctious' than usual (grrr!).
    So I thought it quite ironic that this week's (okay, fortnight's!) blog post, from the 10 Keys to Happier Living, is all about EMOTION: Take a positive approach.
    When I think about this concept - of how we really should view situations in a 'glass-half-full' way - I'm reminded of a friend of mine. Let's call her Theresa (not her real name, by the way). Theresa's life probably hasn't turned out exactly as she'd originally planned. She's a single mum, plus a foster carer to two small children, and lives in a tiny community 30 minutes' drive from the nearest town. Sounds like reason enough to get down-in-the-dumps pretty regularly...
    The inspirational thing about Theresa is that while she does struggle at times - who wouldn't?! - every time I see her she's smiling! I asked her recently how she manages to get by, and she replied with a laugh, "Well, I have to keep on being positive. Sometimes you just have to laugh, or you'd cry!"
    Research backs this up. One example is Fredricksen's 'broaden-and-build' theory, which suggests  that positive emotions "broaden the scopes of attention and cognition", thereby helping to "initiate upward spirals toward increasing emotional well-being."
    Basically, when we feel positive emotions - such as joy, gratitude, and contentment - this enhances a range of resources in our lives, including social, physical, and intellectual, helping us to flourish.
    Now, I'm not saying here that we shouldn't be realistic when it comes to the 'rollercoaster of life' - with all its ups and downs - but having a positive outlook certainly helps the 'downs' to be a whole lot more bearable.
    So, what are you feeling good about? Reply with a comment below, or share on my Facebook page. :)

    Ever seen the movie Bounce (starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck)? While it received mixed reviews on its release in November 2000, what I find interesting is one of the main themes in the storyline - resilience. This also happens to be the 7th key (yes, we're almost to the end already) in the 10 Keys to Happier Living.

    I don't want to spoil the plot (for those who haven't watched it yet but may like to), but basically it follows a typical, romantic storyline - boy meets girl, then they fall in love. But there's a twist. The girl doesn't know that their lives are intertwined through a past tragedy.
    The 'bounce' in the title presumably relates to her (and his) ability to develop resilience and bounce back after things don't go to plan (to put it mildly).
    If you're wondering what 'resilience' actually is (and why it's important), www.psychologytoday.com provides a good definition: 'Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever...  Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback.'    
    It's even regarded as being so vital to survival and success, that schools are teaching their students about resilience in programs designed to reduce the incidence and effects of bullying (the Resilience Doughnut is a good example).
    So, how do we go about building resilience? There are various keys to developing more of this quality, but it also pays to keep in mind that this is a long-term goal - not something you can sprout overnight (if only!). An excellent blog post on Psychology Today's online site lists some helpful strategies, including:
1. Maintain good relationships with family and friends, including involvement in community groups and/or faith-based organisations (eg a good local church) to help provide you with social support in times of stress.
2. Take care of yourself, including getting enough healthy food, sleep, and exercise. This area is even more important when you're going through a difficult time.
3. Try to maintain a positive view of life, and visualise what you want.
4. Accept that change is a part of life and come to terms with circumstances that you cannot change.
    In my own journey, whilst I can't profess to have experienced a whole lot of adversity, I've found that learning to adjust to change (stragegy #4 above) has helped me in this area. It doesn't have to be big changes, either (like getting married or moving to another country) - even embracing smaller ones, such as taking up some study in a new skill area, trying out a different hobby or sport, or looking for ways to increase your circle of friends, can all help to improve the way you handle change.
    If you want to learn more about resilience, here's some links:
 Ten hints for creating resilient families
How do we bounce back from adversity?
List of resilience websites and books (Wellbeing Australia)
    So, over to you: what's your one tip for bouncing back after life throws you a curve ball? Share it in the comments below, or on my Facebook page.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” 
~ Brian Littrell

    I must admit, I had an 'uneasy moment' when I first looked at the topic for this blog post: DIRECTION - Having goals to look forward to (the next point in the 10 Keys to Happier Living).
    Don't misunderstand me - I'm all for goals. I love them.
    I just have one problem: I rarely ever achieve them.
    Phew! Now that I've got that uncomfortable confession out of the way, we can move on. :)
    Seriously, we all need to feel as if we're moving forward in life, as if we're actually going somewhere instead of merely being swept along in the current of the daily grind (apologies for the mixed metaphors :) ).
    When we're younger, our main goal might be to make it to the finals in our soccer team, or score an 'A' in a music exam or school grade.
    As we grow, our goals also become bigger. From making it in our chosen careers, to buying a house, pursuing our creative aspirations (such as writing), or having a family... goals spur us on, give us energy, and make the 'ride' in life more meaningful and even enjoyable.    
    An article in Psychology Today presents on this topic very succinctly. Basically, when we achieve progress on our goals, our subjective well-being (SWB - how happy and satisfied we feel in life) increases, with a potential flow-on effect of motivating 'goal-directed behaviours' (check out this diagram from the article).    

The key here, as I see it, is the importance of breaking our larger goals down into achievable 'chunks'. While it's great to have a grand vision to spur us on, we also need to take note of that old saying, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'.
    Perhaps instead of having one big goal (eg to write a best-selling novel), you could break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces (eg to write one chapter a week, or to spend an hour a day on your manuscript). If you can achieve the smaller 'mini-goals', you'll eventually get the big one sorted out - without getting too discouraged in the process.
    To apply this goal-setting principle in your life (and also helping to contribute to increased happiness levels), aim to spend some time this week reevaluating your goals. Do you have any? Are they achieveable? What can you do today (or in the next week) as a small step towards them? (I think I should spend some time completing this exercise, too. :) )
    I'l love to hear all about it on my Facebook page. :)

    I just love one of the latest IKEA tv ads (below) - and not merely for the Braveheart-esque music and 'battle' scene, reminiscent of William Wallace's charge against the English forces in the late 13th century. 

     It's the challenge at the end: Fight boring. Have a go.
    This ties in so neatly with the next theme in the '10 Keys to Happier Living', which is all about TRYING NEW THINGS.
    'Having a go' in life is all about making life interesting, challenging ourselves and the status quo. Not being content to stick with our comfortable (and perhaps 'boring') existence, but instead mixing things up a little.
    And apparently, this can make us happier.
    I came across a blog post by the Happiness Institute recently, detailing how we can boost our happiness levels by experimenting and trying new things. If you're wondering how something as simple as learning a new skill (Latin dancing, anyone?) or doing something a different way can help you be happier, in a nutshell it comes down to improved self-efficacy. Basically, if you can learn to do something new (and do it well), this gives you an increased belief in your ability to succeed at other things.
    Remember the buzz you got as a kid when you learnt to ride a bike for the first time? Or how you felt when you passed your driver's licence test? Your feelings of self-efficacy sky-rocketed, increasing your happiness levels.
    How long has it been since you had that amazing feeling of accomplishment over learning something new? Too long? Today's an excellent time to start. :)
    It could be something as simple as taking a 'walk on the wild side' by trying out a new restaurant or cuisine, reading a book in a different genre to your usual, or checking out the sights in a previously unexplored part of your neighbourhood or city. If you're a writer, like me, you could shake up your usual writing habits by trying a different style, length (eg short-story as opposed to novel-length), or routine (try writing outdoors instead of in your home office).
   If you really want to embrace this concept, you could take up a new hobby, join a club or social group to meet new people, or plan a holiday to an exotic, far-flung destination.
    Sound like fun? I'm having a blast just writing about it! :)
    So, what new things are you planning to try this week? I'd love to hear all about them on my Facebook page. (If you've never 'liked' my page before, this might be an easy way to start 'trying something new' - lol!)

    School holidays are looming in sunny Queensland (where I live), so I thought it was a good time for me to take a break, too. And like the good 'ole saying, 'a change is as good as a holiday', I'm taking a brief hiatus from my '10 Keys to Happier Living' posts to update you on some previous stuff.
    Sooo... it's been awhile since the May: You Write Your Novel Challenge finished (mid-July), and I'd just love to be announcing right now that I made it to the 80,000 word mark. 
    But I didn't. Oops.
    Now, I'd also like to be making some lovely excuses here. 
    But I can't. Dang! 
    See, I wrote a previous post about not accepting excuses, but learning how to manage and work through them. So I guess the ones about us moving house, having a houseful of sick kids for two weeks, and all that other stuff really won't wash.
    Anyway, I have managed to notch up 50,000 words, so I guess that's not doing too badly as a base for this next novel. 
    My next goal is to get it finished by Christmas (another approx 30 - 40,000 words) - but without 'burning the candle at both ends', getting through most days on caffeine, and being a less-than-patient wife and mum. Will see how it goes...
    It's been a good lesson in reassessing my goals, and not pinning all my hopes/ambitions on achieving a set thing. I've discovered that sometimes (actually, MOST times), things in life don't exactly work out to our blueprint plan.
    This is where the ability to be flexible really comes in handy. If we're too rigid, like glass, we're likely to shatter when force is applied. But if we're able to adjust to life's circumstances - including moving out the goal posts, if necessary - we'll be able to bounce back. Just like rubber.
    I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you stay 'flexible' in your day-to-day life. Share them on my Facebook page. 
    P.S. I just found out today that 'Blue Freedom' has been short-listed for the CALEB Prize awards for 2011. It's nice to know that other people (than just me) like it. :)

   I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. 
~ Emma Goldman

    I've been trying to stop and smell the roses more during the past week, but am having a bit of trouble... not metaphorically-speaking, but physically. A lingering cold combined with chronic hayfever has left me with a blocked-up 'sniffer'!
    Despite this, every time I pass the rose garden in front of my work I still stoop to admire the latest pink bloom - especially because the fourth item in the '10 Keys to Happier Living' is APPRECIATING
    So, it's official: stopping to 'smell the roses' can actually make us happier. In psychology circles it's known as 'mindfullness', or 'living in the present'. There are even whole books written on the subject (the one titled, 'The Present' is a short, yet profound, read - and usually sits on our bookshelf, except I haven't unpacked that box yet from our recent move :) ).
    Instead, how often in life do we rush through on auto-pilot, trying to make the next deadline, or get to the next appointment, or finally drive the kids to school on time (gulp!)?
    By cramming more 'things' or activities into our lives, we're merely increasing our stress levels - and consequently decreasing our chances of improving our work- and life-satisfaction.
    So, what are some easy ways we can become more 'mindful' and learn to notice the world around us? Here are some tips I've gleaned along the way:
1. Get outdoors - take a walk, play ball with your kids or dog, breathe in a big gulp of fresh air, or lie on your back in the grass and spot cloud shapes.
2. Eat slowly - instead of inhaling your next meal, chew each mouthful slowly, and savour the individual flavours of your food. Make sure the TV is off. You'll find that slowing down your pace of eating does wonders for your digestion (and a bonus is that you're less likely to overeat).
3. Really listen - the next time your child or significant other talks to you, stop what you're doing, look at them, and really focus on their words. Once they get over the shock (lol!), you'll find it easier to connect with them and improve your communication.
4. Engage all your senses - try stopping for a moment and experiencing the world around you with each of your senses. What do you hear? see? taste? touch? smell? 
    The next time you're feeling stressed, or even simply feeling disconnected from life around you, take a moment to appreciate your surroundings - including smelling the odd rose or two - and the people in your world (appreciate them, that is - don't smell them, lol!). You're bound to feel happier as a result.
    So tell me - what are your tips for living more in the present? I'd love to hear about them on my Facebook page. Thanks. :)

    For all those of you who have absolutely no interest whatsoever in your health, longevity, energy levels, or how you fit in a pair of jeans, you can tune out now. For the rest of us - oh, it looks like everyone's still here (lol!) - read on.
    I'm continuing on with my posts relating to the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (check out the cool video at the end of this post), and this week's topic is (you guessed it) EXERCISING: Take care of your body.
   Now, before you scream, run away, and dive back under the covers of denial, I'd like to discuss some great research that shows how we can all fit 'moving more' into our already-busy schedules.
     I've been reading some research lately about the health effects of standing vs sitting (you heard it correctly: not 'huffing-and-puffing', just 'standing'). A couple of weeks ago I came across a really great article, and just felt that I had to share it.
        The article by Tony Fitzsimons, titled 'We're sitting ourselves to death', detailed an excellent (and highly-readable) summary of the latest research on this topic.
    In a nutshell, we're all sitting too much. And even if we exercise the recommended 30 minutes (or even an hour) daily, we're STILL sitting too much - up to 16 hours, in fact.
    Our human bodies were designed to be in constant movement during our waking hours. But now in our increasingly mechanised society, we have machines to do the work for us. For many of us, we even sit at a 'machine' (computer) at our workplaces, often for hours at a time.
    Interestingly, prior to the Second World War the concept of exercise was reasonably foreign. People were very active in their everyday lives, both at home and in their work (often on a farm), and didn't have a need to go to the gym.
    But back to 2011, most of us don't live that way anymore. We have to be more intentional about incorporating movement into our everyday lives, as unfortunately, the phrase 'use it or lose it' will always prove true. This also applies to our flexibility, strength, and muscle tone (and, in turn, our metabolisms).
    The Heart Foundation confirms that too much sitting is bad for our health, even if we're meeting minimum exercise requirements. They report on research revealing that too much sitting can increase your risk of heart disease by as much as 50 per cent.
    So, how does this all relate to increasing our happiness levels? One word: endorphins. These are mood-boosting chemicals that our bodies produce when we're physically active, giving us that feel-good rush. It's well-documented that participating in regular exercise can even be effective in treating certain types of depression.
    It all sounds like reason enough to move around more. So I'm signing off now to go do some vigorous housework (*sigh!).
    Oh, and for the record, I read most of the research articles for this blog post while standing up. :)
    Let me know your tips for including more physical activity in your day by sharing on my Facebook page. Thanks. :)