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How to bounce

19/11/2011

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    Ever seen the movie Bounce (starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck)? While it received mixed reviews on its release in November 2000, what I find interesting is one of the main themes in the storyline - resilience. This also happens to be the 7th key (yes, we're almost to the end already) in the 10 Keys to Happier Living.
    I don't want to spoil the plot (for those who haven't watched it yet but may like to), but basically it follows a typical, romantic storyline - boy meets girl, then they fall in love. But there's a twist. The girl doesn't know that their lives are intertwined through a past tragedy.
    The 'bounce' in the title presumably relates to her (and his) ability to develop resilience and bounce back after things don't go to plan (to put it mildly).
    If you're wondering what 'resilience' actually is (and why it's important), www.psychologytoday.com provides a good definition: 'Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever...  Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback.'    
    It's even regarded as being so vital to survival and success, that schools are teaching their students about resilience in programs designed to reduce the incidence and effects of bullying (the Resilience Doughnut is a good example).
    So, how do we go about building resilience? There are various keys to developing more of this quality, but it also pays to keep in mind that this is a long-term goal - not something you can sprout overnight (if only!). An excellent blog post on Psychology Today's online site lists some helpful strategies, including:
1. Maintain good relationships with family and friends, including involvement in community groups and/or faith-based organisations (eg a good local church) to help provide you with social support in times of stress.
2. Take care of yourself, including getting enough healthy food, sleep, and exercise. This area is even more important when you're going through a difficult time.
3. Try to maintain a positive view of life, and visualise what you want.
4. Accept that change is a part of life and come to terms with circumstances that you cannot change.
    In my own journey, whilst I can't profess to have experienced a whole lot of adversity, I've found that learning to adjust to change (stragegy #4 above) has helped me in this area. It doesn't have to be big changes, either (like getting married or moving to another country) - even embracing smaller ones, such as taking up some study in a new skill area, trying out a different hobby or sport, or looking for ways to increase your circle of friends, can all help to improve the way you handle change.
    If you want to learn more about resilience, here's some links:
 Ten hints for creating resilient families
How do we bounce back from adversity?
List of resilience websites and books (Wellbeing Australia)
    So, over to you: what's your one tip for bouncing back after life throws you a curve ball? Share it in the comments below, or on my Facebook page.
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    Published author. Dietitian. Mother of 4. Eternally curious. Enjoys life's adventures. Loves dark chocolate and a good coffee.

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