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The Giving Connection

27/7/2011

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    As promised, this is the first of my blog posts discussing the 10 items outlined in the Action for Happiness (see my last post for more details).
    Consequently, I've been thinking a bit about GIVING (the first item on the list) and how it can make us happier. We all know this to be true ín theory - after all, the 'Golden Rule' is one of the first maxims drummed into us by our mothers when, as selfish and egocentric two-year-olds, we absolutely refuse to share with our sister/brother/friend/neighbour/dog.
    But as adults, sometimes it's difficult to make this connection. As our materialistic society espouses (just turn on the television for a primer): If you want to be happier, you need more 'stuff' - and to get more 'stuff', it seems crazy to give some away, right?!
    Not exactly ... 
    Giving is actually one of the key ways to make us feel happier, more altruistic. More human, and less animal (although animals are known to share, as well). Giving can also foster connection with others, showing them we care. And who doesn't want to feel more connected?
    Unfortuately, these days our view of the word 'connection' has more to do with our electronic gadgets, and less to do with a chat over the fence with our neighbour. 
    I've even fallen prey to this fallacy myself. This past week, my modem decided that it was going to randomly control when it would allow me to access the internet - depending on its moods, hormones, or some other strange signals I hadn't been able to decode. So I unplugged it and eagerly waited for another to arrive in the post.
    Those five or so days dragged by, with me beginning to feel varying degrees of disconnection. But from what? Sure, I wasn't able to email friends or family, or check out what was happening with all my 'friends' on Facebook, or update my blog, or do some more research for my latest novel.
     But life still went on. My immediate family were still there, thundering around with their little feet (and one pair of larger feet) in our wooden-floored house. A friend still dropped by for a coffee. We still went to church on Sunday, and talked with other friends.
    So, while the internet (and social media) can definitely help in us feeling connected, it's really only one form - and a second-rate one, at that.
    This week, I'm setting out to have more real connection with others (with actual, real people - not just thumbnail photos on a social networking website ;) ). And, as I mentioned above, one great way to do this is by giving. Not money, necessarily (although there's definitely a place for that), but in my time, energy, even ideas.
    I'm looking forward to the challenge, and will keep you updated with how it goes on my Facebook page. Pop on over and share your thoughts about ways you like to give, or things you do to stay connected with others. :)
P.S. My new modem is great at keeping me connencted to the internet - if I could just see the screen! My computer monitor has now conspired to launch into static at really crucial moments i.e. writing my latest scene, internet banking, blogging. Gotta love technology! :-/
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Just 'one of those days'

11/7/2011

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No sense crying over spilt milk (or a spilt latte, lol!)
    I'm sitting here at my favourite cafe, still damp from having an extra-hot, skinny latte (with half-strength vanilla syrup, of course) tipped over me by an over-exuberant four-year-old. My hand is stinging from the burning liquid, and my previously-luscious square of carrot cake with cream cheese icing is now a pile of soggy mush.
    It's just been 'one of those days'. Have you had one of those lately?
    The funny thing is that I'd been planning to write an inspirational blog piece today about a website I've recently come acrosss: www.actionforhappiness.org . I was going to write something profound about how it's interesting that when I/you discover something new/inspirational/challenging/life-changing, we often don't recognise its potential at first. Instead of reaching out and grabbing with both hands onto the new project/investment opportunity/job/story idea/trip-of-a-lifetime, we can sometimes hesitate, stuck in the paralysis of indecision that fear brings.
    Unfortunately, the words 'inspirational' and 'profound' somehow aren't in my vocabulary today. :)
    But, despite it being 'one of those days', I've managed to get up and dust myself off to continue with this planned blog post.
    On the above-mentioned website, you'll find the 10 Keys to Happier Living resource, based on latest scientific research about happiness (love the retro photos, too :)). The GREAT DREAM acronym outlines 10 key principles that positively impact on happiness levels:
    Giving
    Relating
    Exercising
    Appreciating
    Trying out
   
    Direction
    Resilience
    Emotion
    Acceptance
    Meaning

    For something a little different, I'm planning to explore these ten principles further over the coming weeks - not in a dry and factual way, but with 'skin on', based on the experiences of myself and others, and with tips on how to apply them to your life.
    I hope you'll join me on this journey as we discover more about how to 'get happy'. Who knows, you may even find yourself achieving a greater level of overall happiness and wellbeing.
    And hopefully, have less of 'those days'. :)
    I'd love to read your comments about how you managed to move on after a challenging circumstance/day - you can share it on my Facebook page.
    P.S. This is the second version of this post - the first inexplicably deleted itself. I can think of no other explanation than the title above. :)    
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Getting heated over the 'microwave' generation

4/7/2011

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    I'm sure you've all heard of the 'slow food' movement. It developed in the '80s in response to the vast array of fast food chains springing up all over the globe, serving millions of kilojoule-laden, greasy meals to the masses.
    In my opinion, it appears that several factors helped drive this franchising phenomenon: cheap meals, fast meals, and slick marketing. The first and last factors aside, what interests me at the moment is our need these days to have everything 'right now'. Just as we don't like having to wait too long to wolf down our burgers, we also don't like to wait for much of anything else, such as (to name just a few):
- for our internet pages to load
- languishing in a telephone queue (or any sort of queue, for that matter)
- to get our tax cheque in the mail, or deposited into our account
- for the latest movie to be released
- snail mail
- for the results from our latest assignment/exam/medical tests
- the interminable wait to see if our manuscript has been accepted by an agent or publisher
- waiting for..... (insert your pet peeve here).

    You get the picture. We don't like to wait. I'm sure it has something to do with our genetic make-up, as young children are the worst.
     As I mentioned in my post last week, it's the school holidays, and I've promised to take my four energetic youngsters to see Cars 2 at the cinemas. Unfortunately, I made the fatal mistake of telling them about it prior to the longed-for event, which is planned for tomorrow. 
    A little word of advice here for parents (and parents-of-the-future, for that matter): don't tell your kids until the second before, prior to embarking on an exciting adventure/activity. Any earlier than that and you're just setting yourself up for uminaginable heckling: "Are we going to see Cars 2 tomorrow, Mum?" "What time are we going, Mum?" "How many hours left 'til we go, Mum?"
    I'm seriously considering purchasing a set of earplugs. Or three sets (one for my husband and our babysitter, too).
    All this musing about the 'microwave' generation of today has got me thinking about how this applies to writing - or more specifically, readers. If people these days are more likely to read a short blog than a book, a magazine than a manuscript, or a newspaper over a novel, then the onus is on us writers to adapt.
    Of course, there's the meteoric rise of the e-book, allowing readers everywhere to instantly download copies of their favourite reading material, from online ezines to the classics. 
    It will be interesting to observe how popular fiction evolves in response to this need to have, and do, everything quickly. Already, action-infused crime and thriller novels regularly top the charts, as do heart-pounding romances. And while some writers may be able to go against the flow regarding novel length, such as JK Rowling with her weighty Harry Potter tomes, will we also begin to see a dominance of shorter novels lining bookstore shelves (or online e-book stores)?
    Maybe. But it's my opinion that of more importance than book length will be the style of the writing itself. More than ever before, there is now a need for tight plotlines, realistic and well-developed characters, and snappy dialogue. Taking until the third chapter to hook the reader just isn't going to cut it anymore. Neither are jarring point-of-view slips, anaemic characters, or 'telling' rather than 'showing'.
    Movies are no different. To hold the attention of cinema-goers these days, they are brighter, bolder, and faster than ever before - not to mention coming out of the screen at you in 3D.
    I'm expecting Cars 2 tomorrow to follow this formula. But unfortunately (for this impatient Yours Truly), I'm just going to have to wait and see. :) 
    Feel free to share your waiting 'pet peeve' on my Facebook page.
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    Published author. Dietitian. Mother of 4. Eternally curious. Enjoys life's adventures. Loves dark chocolate and a good coffee.

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