​Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were young? The childish excitement around things as simple as baking gingerbread men, hearing the first Christmas carol, participating in family traditions, and giving and receiving (often) home-made gifts?
The ‘getting-back-to-basics’ of family, friends, and the REAL meaning of Christmas is what I’m aiming for this year. No Insta-worthy moments – which never happen in our family, by the way! – unless it’s posting that ONE pic out of thousands for Grandma where everyone is finally looking in the same direction with what could pass for a smile.
No wearing myself out trying to meet some impossible standard of The Perfect Christmas, sliding into credit card debt and with my hair turning even more grey from the stress of it all…
Christmas this year will be seriously pared down. Here’s the plan:

• A mix of home-made and old decorations on the Christmas tree. No need to rush out and buy new ones that will then languish in a dusty box for another year. Rustic is in, baby. Extra points for decorating to the tunes of ‘Ol Blue Eyes Frank Sinatra himself.

    Can you believe that 2014 is almost half over?! What began as a fresh, shiny year - a newly-opened journal with blank pages just begging for you to fill them with details of all your amazing adventures - is now looking a little worn around the edges. (Kind of like how many of us feel at times...!)
    This moment of panicked realisation (it's almost June!) is an opportunity to take stock of how your goals for this year are going. Or not.
    What's that you say? You have no defined goals, or the ones you have just aren't workin' for you? Well, there's no better time than the present to decide what you really want out of life - and I don't just mean that you prefer your eggs hard-boiled or your morning latte made on skim, three-quarter strength, and extra hot (oh - sorry, that's me!). 
    I'm talking about what really matters to you, what keeps you awake at night (aside from heartburn!), what you'll regret not doing when your time comes to leave this world for the next.
    Your values.
    Sure, it might be easier to follow the crowd and plan to make it to the top in your chosen career, retire before you're thirty (or forty, or...), and have a house full of shiny things.
    But will the traditional success paradigm really make you happy? 
    As we approach mid-year, take a moment out of your day to reflect on these few questions:
1. What would I miss most about my life if it was gone?
2. What makes me smile?
3. If I knew the world would end tomorrow, what would I regret not having done?
4. What's stopping me from making steps to start (or finish) it now?

    I'd love to read your answers, either in the comments below or on Facebook. 
    
    With some honest assessment and planning (even baby-steps), the second half of your 2014 will be infinitely more rewarding,  intentional, and values-oriented. Go for it!

 This past summer, I read a blog post on Life Hacker by James
Clear: You Have 25,000 Mornings as an Adult. Here’s How Not to Waste Them. I had to read it. In the article, Clear offers much of the same advice I’ve shared here in the blog: manage energy not time, don’t check email until noon, prepare the night before, and move your cell phone to another room. 
  All of this is well and good for those of us who use mornings for intellectual and creative work. But in one of the comments, a reader criticized the tip: What about folks who work third shift and sleep in the morning? I’d add: What about people who work days and cannot use their mornings to write? What about those who don’t their best work in the morning?
 This is where genius time comes in. Genius time is that part of the day when you are best able to work on your primary purpose. Mine is writing—and my genius time is mornings. That doesn’t mean I cannot write at other times of day, it just means that I don’t do it as well or as fast in those hours. So I’m with Mr Clear—I don’t want to waste my mornings with email, social media or meetings. I need to use those precious hours to write. But your genius time might be in the afternoon or just before bed or while you’re eating lunch. Your job is to protect and nurture your genius time no matter what happens. Here’s how:

 Step 1. Map your energy.
Take a look at your most productive days. Map when you have performed like a genius at social, intellectual, creative, and  physical tasks. Pro Tip: Your genius time for each type of activity will probably be at different times of day. I’m a writing mastermind at 7:00 AM but don’t make me talk to anyone. (Mornings: Social Dolt, Writing Genius; Early Afternoons: Social   Wannabe, Writing Dolt). You might also have genius times that  overlap—perhaps you’re good at both social and physical tasks in the mornings. This is okay. Just get it all down on paper, real or virtual.

 Step Two: Choose your one thing.
What’s the one thing you want to accomplish this week with your genius time? You’re at a writing blog, so I’ll talk about writing books, blogs or stories, but you may want to use your genius  time to plan a corporate take over or invent an app that will entertain tweens.

 Step Three: Schedule!
If possible, match your one thing (writing) to your intellectual   and creative genius time. When I say schedule, I mean more than “think about it” – as in, I think I might write tomorrow after work. Note the following information:
 When will I work on this project?
 Where will I work? Is the setting conducive to what I need to do?  Do I have what I need to get work done?
 What will I write? Choose the chunk.
 Oops: What might interrupt my plan? How will I deal with that? 
How will I stick to my genius time when the kids are screaming or friends invite me out for drinks or a client needs me or I'm weary and just want to take a nap? Decide now.

 Step Four: Honor the genius time and write: no matter what.
Some tricks:
 +Repeat a mantra like: “When I get home from work, I will write for 20 minutes on my novel.”
 +Record your mantra on paper and post it where you can see it. 
(Cheesy—yes. But it works!)
 +Set up your writing space ahead of time—like you might set the table for dinner—so that you are ready to work when you get to your genius time.
 +Throughout the day before, imagine yourself in your writing place, successfully creating.

 Step Five: Put that butt in your chair and write.
If you have an upset and miss a day, forgive yourself. And show up again the next day.
 Pro tip: It has taken me a really long time to honor my genius time and NOT feel guilty. So accept that you’re going to feel like a fraud when you tell people you cannot meet to plan the Queen’s visit because you are writing. If it helps, don’t tell them what you’ll be doing (and definitely don’t confess that you can’t take a meeting because you’ve got “genius time”). Just say: I can’t meet. I’m in another meeting. And you are: with your muse.

Write Now! Coach Rochelle Melander is an author, a certified professional coach, and a popular speaker. Melander has written ten books including Write-A-Thon: Write Your Book in 26 Days (And Live to Tell About It). As the Write Now! Coach, she teaches professionals how to write books fast, get published, and connect with readers through social media.
  Get your free subscription to her Write Now! Tips Ezine at
http://www.writenowcoach.com.

This is what you've been waiting for all year, folks - the definitive directory you won't find anywhere else.
My 'Naughty or Nice' List:

Naughty
1. Alarm clocks - no explanation needed!
2. 'Pages feed' in Facebook - a recent development that means you rarely see updates from liked pages (such as mine) in your Newsfeed - unless the pages' managers pay to promote them
3. Unreliable cars - I've found myself waiting beside a country road in the hot sun TWICE in the past month!
4. Writers' block - otherwise known as 'writers' distraction', otherwise known as 'the Internet/ Facebook'
5. In-frequent bloggers - er... that would be me!

Nice
1. Free Kindle e-books - my 'to-be-read' pile has morphed from a small hill into Mount Everest!
2. Berry smoothies - I heart my new blender
3. Funny internet memes - anyone laughed at a 'Mayan Apocolypse/Oreo cookie parody recently? :)
4. Coffee - something of a necessity for night-owl writers like me
5. Living by the beach - I won't elaborate, or you'll be even more jealous.

So, what (or who) is on your 'naughty or nice' list this year? Share in the comments, or on my Facebook page.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

    Ouch! Sorry, that's just the sound of 'the gods of blogging' smacking me on my hand, for disobeying the cardinal rule: blog regularly (at least weekly). NOT every six months! :/
    Now that's done with, I'll move on with this post's topic - the final instalment of my super-loooong running series on the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (for more info on this, check out my previous post here, or this cool Youtube vid).   

    'MEANING: Be part of something bigger' is the tenth item. I have to admit, it left me feeling slightly overwhelmed. I mean, how does one begin to approach the topic of why we're all here?
    *Deep breath* - so here goes...
    Taking it back to psychological research, those who have meaning and purpose in their lives are most definitely happier, and exerience less stress and depression. As outlined in a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology about 'Purpose, Hope, and Life Satisfaction', 'having identified a purpose in life was associated with greater life satisfaction at [various] stages of life'.
   While we each have a unique purpose to our lives, some key aspects can include having a religious faith (and thus having a broader view of our purpose in life), being a parent, or working to help others and make a difference in the world. 
    So, how do we find deeper meaning and purpose in our lives? Here's some tips from an excellent article in The Chicago Tribune (plus one of my own):
1. Reflection - each night, think about what activities during your day you found to be 'life-giving'.
2. Meditation - this can be as simple as finding a quiet place to reflect, and unplugging from the ever-present technology that surrounds us.
3. Journaling - writing about experiences you find both positive and negative in your life can help you to maximise the former (and minimise the latter).
4. Prayer - research shows that prayer (in whichever way is meaningful for you) can help you to remain more clear-headed and have less anxiety.
5. Outward focus - ultimately, purpose and happiness is all about relationships and helping others. Help someone else, and you just might find what you were put here on this earth to do.
    
   Over to you:
- What helps you find meaning and purpose in your life?
- Have you found your purpose yet?
I'd love to hear your thoughts over on my Facebook page, or in the comments section below. :)   
  

    Finding it difficult to be kind to yourself? Apparently, those who are understanding and supportive of others often score lowly in
self-compassion tests, according to a wellness article in the New York Times.
    It's no secret that most of us are less than happy with ourselves, being our own worst critics. However, people who demonstrate self-compassion tend to be happier and more optimistic, with lower rates of depression.
    Interestingly, the next item on the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (that I began blogging about last year) is ACCEPTANCE: Be comfortable with who you are. 
    It's been quite awhile since I last posted a blog - not since late last year, in fact (*blush). Now, I could beat myself up about not sticking to my plan, or for not getting more writing completed on my new novel. But, in light of the above facts, I'm choosing to be kind to myself instead.
    So, what makes us get down on ourselves while we're still able to be understanding and gracious of others? It usually stems from the level of acceptance we received from those around us when we were children - and can lead to a cycle of negativity and self-criticism as adults.
    Some tips to help develop more self-compassion
- Try to focus much more on your positives rather than your negatives
- Write down a list of your strengths and read it regularly
- Surround yourself with positive, affirming people
- Listen to and/or read encouraging, uplifting material (Graham Cooke has some excellent resources)
    It can be a long road in learning to change negative thought-processes, but the rewards are so worth it. And so are you.
    I'd love to hear your thoughts about your journey in self-acceptance, plus tips for being kind to yourself (curling up with a novel at the end of a long day springs to mind... :) ). You can either leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page.