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Christmas Unplugged

13/12/2019

2 Comments

 
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​Do you remember what Christmas was like when you were young? The childish excitement around things as simple as baking gingerbread men, hearing the first Christmas carol, participating in family traditions, and giving and receiving (often) home-made gifts?
The ‘getting-back-to-basics’ of family, friends, and the REAL meaning of Christmas is what I’m aiming for this year. No Insta-worthy moments – which never happen in our family, by the way! – unless it’s posting that ONE pic out of thousands for Grandma where everyone is finally looking in the same direction with what could pass for a smile.
No wearing myself out trying to meet some impossible standard of The Perfect Christmas, sliding into credit card debt and with my hair turning even more grey from the stress of it all…
Christmas this year will be seriously pared down. Here’s the plan:
  • A mix of home-made and old decorations on the Christmas tree. No need to rush out and buy new ones that will then languish in a dusty box for another year. Rustic is in, baby. Extra points for decorating to the tunes of ‘Ol Blue Eyes Frank Sinatra himself.
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  • Cookies where the kids help, and there’s maybe even a tiny bit of dough left over (after all the taste-testing, of course!) to bake with. TIP: home-made shortbread or gingerbread men make great teacher gifts, but no judgement from me if you’re too busy or just plain forgot. Simplicity and survival is key here!
  • Not spending thousands of dollars on flights and car hire in our annual trip to visit family – we’re taking our car instead. Sure, it’ll turn the 2.5-hour flight into a journey of two days, but it’s also a great opportunity to visit some friends and family along the way, see a bit more of the country, and make lots of memories. Note to self: must investigate some in-car wifi as well, as teen boys are bound to tire of ‘eye spy’ quickly.
  • Spending less on gifts. My extended family has arranged for ‘Kris Kringle’ for the adults, so that we each receive one decent gift. For my kids (three high school-aged sons and one daughter in upper Primary), I’m getting them all books and clothes, plus a couple of items they’ve specifically asked for. Spreading out the purchases (starting in Oct/Nov) and looking for deals online has been kinder on the wallet.
  • Focussing more on the true meaning of Christmas. I love the words of the traditional Christmas carols that draw our attention back to what this season is all about: Jesus, God’s gift to us. I’m considering ways to bring this more into focus for our family, including getting everyone to read a chapter of Luke’s gospel each night during December (there are 24), taking us through Jesus’ life from birth to resurrection. This may be a challenge for our laid-back tribe, but we’ll see how we go. Our church also hosts the main Christmas Carols in our city, providing an opportunity to serve the community and invite workmates and friends to participate in an event focussed on the first Christmas and Jesus (although Santa always still makes an appearance).
  • Giving to others. As for several previous years, we’ve again packed some shoe boxes of gifts for children in developing countries, to be distributed by the Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child project. My younger kids and I (the older two are a bit too ‘cool’!) have a great time selecting and packing the gifts. Our church has also partnered with the Act for Kids organisation to provide gifts for local children (many of them homeless or with insecure home situations). I love the opportunity to teach my own children that it’s not all about them, and that there are many other children who aren’t as blessed as they are.
  • Staying true to our values. Christmas is all about spending time with family, sharing some simple gifts, and celebrating God’s gift to us over delicious food.​
What do you have planned for this festive season? I’d love to hear some ways you like to celebrate, including ideas for an ‘unplugged’ Christmas.
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What's Stopping You?

8/5/2014

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    Can you believe that 2014 is almost half over?! What began as a fresh, shiny year - a newly-opened journal with blank pages just begging for you to fill them with details of all your amazing adventures - is now looking a little worn around the edges. (Kind of like how many of us feel at times...!)
    This moment of panicked realisation (it's almost June!) is an opportunity to take stock of how your goals for this year are going. Or not.
    What's that you say? You have no defined goals, or the ones you have just aren't workin' for you? Well, there's no better time than the present to decide what you really want out of life - and I don't just mean that you prefer your eggs hard-boiled or your morning latte made on skim, three-quarter strength, and extra hot (oh - sorry, that's me!). 
    I'm talking about what really matters to you, what keeps you awake at night (aside from heartburn!), what you'll regret not doing when your time comes to leave this world for the next.
    Your values.
    Sure, it might be easier to follow the crowd and plan to make it to the top in your chosen career, retire before you're thirty (or forty, or...), and have a house full of shiny things.
    But will the traditional success paradigm really make you happy? 
    As we approach mid-year, take a moment out of your day to reflect on these few questions:
1. What would I miss most about my life if it was gone?
2. What makes me smile?
3. If I knew the world would end tomorrow, what would I regret not having done?
4. What's stopping me from making steps to start (or finish) it now?

    I'd love to read your answers, either in the comments below or on Facebook. 
    
    With some honest assessment and planning (even baby-steps), the second half of your 2014 will be infinitely more rewarding,  intentional, and values-oriented. Go for it!
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How to Protect & Nurture Your Genius Time (Guest post by Rochelle Melander)

9/10/2013

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 This past summer, I read a blog post on Life Hacker by James
Clear: You Have 25,000 Mornings as an Adult. Here’s How Not to Waste Them. I had to read it. In the article, Clear offers much of the same advice I’ve shared here in the blog: manage energy not time, don’t check email until noon, prepare the night before, and move your cell phone to another room. 
  All of this is well and good for those of us who use mornings for intellectual and creative work. But in one of the comments, a reader criticized the tip: What about folks who work third shift and sleep in the morning? I’d add: What about people who work days and cannot use their mornings to write? What about those who don’t their best work in the morning?
 This is where genius time comes in. Genius time is that part of the day when you are best able to work on your primary purpose. Mine is writing—and my genius time is mornings. That doesn’t mean I cannot write at other times of day, it just means that I don’t do it as well or as fast in those hours. So I’m with Mr Clear—I don’t want to waste my mornings with email, social media or meetings. I need to use those precious hours to write. But your genius time might be in the afternoon or just before bed or while you’re eating lunch. Your job is to protect and nurture your genius time no matter what happens. Here’s how:

 Step 1. Map your energy.
Take a look at your most productive days. Map when you have performed like a genius at social, intellectual, creative, and  physical tasks. Pro Tip: Your genius time for each type of activity will probably be at different times of day. I’m a writing mastermind at 7:00 AM but don’t make me talk to anyone. (Mornings: Social Dolt, Writing Genius; Early Afternoons: Social   Wannabe, Writing Dolt). You might also have genius times that  overlap—perhaps you’re good at both social and physical tasks in the mornings. This is okay. Just get it all down on paper, real or virtual.

 Step Two: Choose your one thing.
What’s the one thing you want to accomplish this week with your genius time? You’re at a writing blog, so I’ll talk about writing books, blogs or stories, but you may want to use your genius  time to plan a corporate take over or invent an app that will entertain tweens.

 Step Three: Schedule!
If possible, match your one thing (writing) to your intellectual   and creative genius time. When I say schedule, I mean more than “think about it” – as in, I think I might write tomorrow after work. Note the following information:
 When will I work on this project?
 Where will I work? Is the setting conducive to what I need to do?  Do I have what I need to get work done?
 What will I write? Choose the chunk.
 Oops: What might interrupt my plan? How will I deal with that? 
How will I stick to my genius time when the kids are screaming or friends invite me out for drinks or a client needs me or I'm weary and just want to take a nap? Decide now.

 Step Four: Honor the genius time and write: no matter what.
Some tricks:
 +Repeat a mantra like: “When I get home from work, I will write for 20 minutes on my novel.”
 +Record your mantra on paper and post it where you can see it. 
(Cheesy—yes. But it works!)
 +Set up your writing space ahead of time—like you might set the table for dinner—so that you are ready to work when you get to your genius time.
 +Throughout the day before, imagine yourself in your writing place, successfully creating.

 Step Five: Put that butt in your chair and write.
If you have an upset and miss a day, forgive yourself. And show up again the next day.
 Pro tip: It has taken me a really long time to honor my genius time and NOT feel guilty. So accept that you’re going to feel like a fraud when you tell people you cannot meet to plan the Queen’s visit because you are writing. If it helps, don’t tell them what you’ll be doing (and definitely don’t confess that you can’t take a meeting because you’ve got “genius time”). Just say: I can’t meet. I’m in another meeting. And you are: with your muse.

Write Now! Coach Rochelle Melander is an author, a certified professional coach, and a popular speaker. Melander has written ten books including Write-A-Thon: Write Your Book in 26 Days (And Live to Tell About It). As the Write Now! Coach, she teaches professionals how to write books fast, get published, and connect with readers through social media.
  Get your free subscription to her Write Now! Tips Ezine at
http://www.writenowcoach.com.
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Naughty or nice?

24/12/2012

1 Comment

 
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This is what you've been waiting for all year, folks - the definitive directory you won't find anywhere else.
My 'Naughty or Nice' List:

Naughty
1. Alarm clocks - no explanation needed!
2. 'Pages feed' in Facebook - a recent development that means you rarely see updates from liked pages (such as mine) in your Newsfeed - unless the pages' managers pay to promote them
3. Unreliable cars - I've found myself waiting beside a country road in the hot sun TWICE in the past month!
4. Writers' block - otherwise known as 'writers' distraction', otherwise known as 'the Internet/ Facebook'
5. In-frequent bloggers - er... that would be me!

Nice
1. Free Kindle e-books - my 'to-be-read' pile has morphed from a small hill into Mount Everest!
2. Berry smoothies - I heart my new blender
3. Funny internet memes - anyone laughed at a 'Mayan Apocolypse/Oreo cookie parody recently? :)
4. Coffee - something of a necessity for night-owl writers like me
5. Living by the beach - I won't elaborate, or you'll be even more jealous.

So, what (or who) is on your 'naughty or nice' list this year? Share in the comments, or on my Facebook page.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
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The biggie

10/10/2012

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    Ouch! Sorry, that's just the sound of 'the gods of blogging' smacking me on my hand, for disobeying the cardinal rule: blog regularly (at least weekly). NOT every six months! :/
    Now that's done with, I'll move on with this post's topic - the final instalment of my super-loooong running series on the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (for more info on this, check out my previous post here, or this cool Youtube vid).   
    'MEANING: Be part of something bigger' is the tenth item. I have to admit, it left me feeling slightly overwhelmed. I mean, how does one begin to approach the topic of why we're all here?
    *Deep breath* - so here goes...
    Taking it back to psychological research, those who have meaning and purpose in their lives are most definitely happier, and exerience less stress and depression. As outlined in a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology about 'Purpose, Hope, and Life Satisfaction', 'having identified a purpose in life was associated with greater life satisfaction at [various] stages of life'.
   While we each have a unique purpose to our lives, some key aspects can include having a religious faith (and thus having a broader view of our purpose in life), being a parent, or working to help others and make a difference in the world. 
    So, how do we find deeper meaning and purpose in our lives? Here's some tips from an excellent article in The Chicago Tribune (plus one of my own):
1. Reflection - each night, think about what activities during your day you found to be 'life-giving'.
2. Meditation - this can be as simple as finding a quiet place to reflect, and unplugging from the ever-present technology that surrounds us.
3. Journaling - writing about experiences you find both positive and negative in your life can help you to maximise the former (and minimise the latter).
4. Prayer - research shows that prayer (in whichever way is meaningful for you) can help you to remain more clear-headed and have less anxiety.
5. Outward focus - ultimately, purpose and happiness is all about relationships and helping others. Help someone else, and you just might find what you were put here on this earth to do.
    
   Over to you:
- What helps you find meaning and purpose in your life?
- Have you found your purpose yet?

I'd love to hear your thoughts over on my Facebook page, or in the comments section below. :)   
  
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I'm ok, you're ok

12/4/2012

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    Finding it difficult to be kind to yourself? Apparently, those who are understanding and supportive of others often score lowly in
self-compassion tests, according to a wellness article in the New York Times.
    It's no secret that most of us are less than happy with ourselves, being our own worst critics. However, people who demonstrate self-compassion tend to be happier and more optimistic, with lower rates of depression.
    Interestingly, the next item on the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (that I began blogging about last year) is ACCEPTANCE: Be comfortable with who you are. 
    It's been quite awhile since I last posted a blog - not since late last year, in fact (*blush). Now, I could beat myself up about not sticking to my plan, or for not getting more writing completed on my new novel. But, in light of the above facts, I'm choosing to be kind to myself instead.
    So, what makes us get down on ourselves while we're still able to be understanding and gracious of others? It usually stems from the level of acceptance we received from those around us when we were children - and can lead to a cycle of negativity and self-criticism as adults.
    Some tips to help develop more self-compassion
- Try to focus much more on your positives rather than your negatives
- Write down a list of your strengths and read it regularly
- Surround yourself with positive, affirming people
- Listen to and/or read encouraging, uplifting material (Graham Cooke has some excellent resources)
    It can be a long road in learning to change negative thought-processes, but the rewards are so worth it. And so are you.
    I'd love to hear your thoughts about your journey in self-acceptance, plus tips for being kind to yourself (curling up with a novel at the end of a long day springs to mind... :) ). You can either leave a comment below, or on my Facebook page.             
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Shoot for the moon

21/10/2011

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“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” 
~ Brian Littrell

    I must admit, I had an 'uneasy moment' when I first looked at the topic for this blog post: DIRECTION - Having goals to look forward to (the next point in the 10 Keys to Happier Living).
    Don't misunderstand me - I'm all for goals. I love them.
    I just have one problem: I rarely ever achieve them.
    Phew! Now that I've got that uncomfortable confession out of the way, we can move on. :)
    Seriously, we all need to feel as if we're moving forward in life, as if we're actually going somewhere instead of merely being swept along in the current of the daily grind (apologies for the mixed metaphors :) ).
    When we're younger, our main goal might be to make it to the finals in our soccer team, or score an 'A' in a music exam or school grade.
    As we grow, our goals also become bigger. From making it in our chosen careers, to buying a house, pursuing our creative aspirations (such as writing), or having a family... goals spur us on, give us energy, and make the 'ride' in life more meaningful and even enjoyable.    
    An article in Psychology Today presents on this topic very succinctly. Basically, when we achieve progress on our goals, our subjective well-being (SWB - how happy and satisfied we feel in life) increases, with a potential flow-on effect of motivating 'goal-directed behaviours' (check out this diagram from the article).    
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The key here, as I see it, is the importance of breaking our larger goals down into achievable 'chunks'. While it's great to have a grand vision to spur us on, we also need to take note of that old saying, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'.
    Perhaps instead of having one big goal (eg to write a best-selling novel), you could break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces (eg to write one chapter a week, or to spend an hour a day on your manuscript). If you can achieve the smaller 'mini-goals', you'll eventually get the big one sorted out - without getting too discouraged in the process.
    To apply this goal-setting principle in your life (and also helping to contribute to increased happiness levels), aim to spend some time this week reevaluating your goals. Do you have any? Are they achieveable? What can you do today (or in the next week) as a small step towards them? (I think I should spend some time completing this exercise, too. :) )
    I'l love to hear all about it on my Facebook page. :)
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Give it a go!

22/9/2011

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    I just love one of the latest IKEA tv ads (below) - and not merely for the Braveheart-esque music and 'battle' scene, reminiscent of William Wallace's charge against the English forces in the late 13th century. 
     It's the challenge at the end: Fight boring. Have a go.
    This ties in so neatly with the next theme in the '10 Keys to Happier Living', which is all about TRYING NEW THINGS.
    'Having a go' in life is all about making life interesting, challenging ourselves and the status quo. Not being content to stick with our comfortable (and perhaps 'boring') existence, but instead mixing things up a little.
    And apparently, this can make us happier.
    I came across a blog post by the Happiness Institute recently, detailing how we can boost our happiness levels by experimenting and trying new things. If you're wondering how something as simple as learning a new skill (Latin dancing, anyone?) or doing something a different way can help you be happier, in a nutshell it comes down to improved self-efficacy. Basically, if you can learn to do something new (and do it well), this gives you an increased belief in your ability to succeed at other things.
    Remember the buzz you got as a kid when you learnt to ride a bike for the first time? Or how you felt when you passed your driver's licence test? Your feelings of self-efficacy sky-rocketed, increasing your happiness levels.
    How long has it been since you had that amazing feeling of accomplishment over learning something new? Too long? Today's an excellent time to start. :)
    It could be something as simple as taking a 'walk on the wild side' by trying out a new restaurant or cuisine, reading a book in a different genre to your usual, or checking out the sights in a previously unexplored part of your neighbourhood or city. If you're a writer, like me, you could shake up your usual writing habits by trying a different style, length (eg short-story as opposed to novel-length), or routine (try writing outdoors instead of in your home office).
   If you really want to embrace this concept, you could take up a new hobby, join a club or social group to meet new people, or plan a holiday to an exotic, far-flung destination.
    Sound like fun? I'm having a blast just writing about it! :)
    So, what new things are you planning to try this week? I'd love to hear all about them on my Facebook page. (If you've never 'liked' my page before, this might be an easy way to start 'trying something new' - lol!)
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Move it, Baby! :)

8/8/2011

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    For all those of you who have absolutely no interest whatsoever in your health, longevity, energy levels, or how you fit in a pair of jeans, you can tune out now. For the rest of us - oh, it looks like everyone's still here (lol!) - read on.
    I'm continuing on with my posts relating to the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (check out the cool video at the end of this post), and this week's topic is (you guessed it) EXERCISING: Take care of your body.
   Now, before you scream, run away, and dive back under the covers of denial, I'd like to discuss some great research that shows how we can all fit 'moving more' into our already-busy schedules.
     I've been reading some research lately about the health effects of standing vs sitting (you heard it correctly: not 'huffing-and-puffing', just 'standing'). A couple of weeks ago I came across a really great article, and just felt that I had to share it.
        The article by Tony Fitzsimons, titled 'We're sitting ourselves to death', detailed an excellent (and highly-readable) summary of the latest research on this topic.
    In a nutshell, we're all sitting too much. And even if we exercise the recommended 30 minutes (or even an hour) daily, we're STILL sitting too much - up to 16 hours, in fact.
    Our human bodies were designed to be in constant movement during our waking hours. But now in our increasingly mechanised society, we have machines to do the work for us. For many of us, we even sit at a 'machine' (computer) at our workplaces, often for hours at a time.
    Interestingly, prior to the Second World War the concept of exercise was reasonably foreign. People were very active in their everyday lives, both at home and in their work (often on a farm), and didn't have a need to go to the gym.
    But back to 2011, most of us don't live that way anymore. We have to be more intentional about incorporating movement into our everyday lives, as unfortunately, the phrase 'use it or lose it' will always prove true. This also applies to our flexibility, strength, and muscle tone (and, in turn, our metabolisms).
    The Heart Foundation confirms that too much sitting is bad for our health, even if we're meeting minimum exercise requirements. They report on research revealing that too much sitting can increase your risk of heart disease by as much as 50 per cent.
    So, how does this all relate to increasing our happiness levels? One word: endorphins. These are mood-boosting chemicals that our bodies produce when we're physically active, giving us that feel-good rush. It's well-documented that participating in regular exercise can even be effective in treating certain types of depression.
    It all sounds like reason enough to move around more. So I'm signing off now to go do some vigorous housework (*sigh!).
    Oh, and for the record, I read most of the research articles for this blog post while standing up. :)
    Let me know your tips for including more physical activity in your day by sharing on my Facebook page. Thanks. :)
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The Giving Connection

27/7/2011

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    As promised, this is the first of my blog posts discussing the 10 items outlined in the Action for Happiness (see my last post for more details).
    Consequently, I've been thinking a bit about GIVING (the first item on the list) and how it can make us happier. We all know this to be true ín theory - after all, the 'Golden Rule' is one of the first maxims drummed into us by our mothers when, as selfish and egocentric two-year-olds, we absolutely refuse to share with our sister/brother/friend/neighbour/dog.
    But as adults, sometimes it's difficult to make this connection. As our materialistic society espouses (just turn on the television for a primer): If you want to be happier, you need more 'stuff' - and to get more 'stuff', it seems crazy to give some away, right?!
    Not exactly ... 
    Giving is actually one of the key ways to make us feel happier, more altruistic. More human, and less animal (although animals are known to share, as well). Giving can also foster connection with others, showing them we care. And who doesn't want to feel more connected?
    Unfortuately, these days our view of the word 'connection' has more to do with our electronic gadgets, and less to do with a chat over the fence with our neighbour. 
    I've even fallen prey to this fallacy myself. This past week, my modem decided that it was going to randomly control when it would allow me to access the internet - depending on its moods, hormones, or some other strange signals I hadn't been able to decode. So I unplugged it and eagerly waited for another to arrive in the post.
    Those five or so days dragged by, with me beginning to feel varying degrees of disconnection. But from what? Sure, I wasn't able to email friends or family, or check out what was happening with all my 'friends' on Facebook, or update my blog, or do some more research for my latest novel.
     But life still went on. My immediate family were still there, thundering around with their little feet (and one pair of larger feet) in our wooden-floored house. A friend still dropped by for a coffee. We still went to church on Sunday, and talked with other friends.
    So, while the internet (and social media) can definitely help in us feeling connected, it's really only one form - and a second-rate one, at that.
    This week, I'm setting out to have more real connection with others (with actual, real people - not just thumbnail photos on a social networking website ;) ). And, as I mentioned above, one great way to do this is by giving. Not money, necessarily (although there's definitely a place for that), but in my time, energy, even ideas.
    I'm looking forward to the challenge, and will keep you updated with how it goes on my Facebook page. Pop on over and share your thoughts about ways you like to give, or things you do to stay connected with others. :)
P.S. My new modem is great at keeping me connencted to the internet - if I could just see the screen! My computer monitor has now conspired to launch into static at really crucial moments i.e. writing my latest scene, internet banking, blogging. Gotta love technology! :-/
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    Published author. Dietitian. Mother of 4. Eternally curious. Enjoys life's adventures. Loves dark chocolate and a good coffee.

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