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Just 'one of those days'

11/7/2011

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No sense crying over spilt milk (or a spilt latte, lol!)
    I'm sitting here at my favourite cafe, still damp from having an extra-hot, skinny latte (with half-strength vanilla syrup, of course) tipped over me by an over-exuberant four-year-old. My hand is stinging from the burning liquid, and my previously-luscious square of carrot cake with cream cheese icing is now a pile of soggy mush.
    It's just been 'one of those days'. Have you had one of those lately?
    The funny thing is that I'd been planning to write an inspirational blog piece today about a website I've recently come acrosss: www.actionforhappiness.org . I was going to write something profound about how it's interesting that when I/you discover something new/inspirational/challenging/life-changing, we often don't recognise its potential at first. Instead of reaching out and grabbing with both hands onto the new project/investment opportunity/job/story idea/trip-of-a-lifetime, we can sometimes hesitate, stuck in the paralysis of indecision that fear brings.
    Unfortunately, the words 'inspirational' and 'profound' somehow aren't in my vocabulary today. :)
    But, despite it being 'one of those days', I've managed to get up and dust myself off to continue with this planned blog post.
    On the above-mentioned website, you'll find the 10 Keys to Happier Living resource, based on latest scientific research about happiness (love the retro photos, too :)). The GREAT DREAM acronym outlines 10 key principles that positively impact on happiness levels:
    Giving
    Relating
    Exercising
    Appreciating
    Trying out
   
    Direction
    Resilience
    Emotion
    Acceptance
    Meaning

    For something a little different, I'm planning to explore these ten principles further over the coming weeks - not in a dry and factual way, but with 'skin on', based on the experiences of myself and others, and with tips on how to apply them to your life.
    I hope you'll join me on this journey as we discover more about how to 'get happy'. Who knows, you may even find yourself achieving a greater level of overall happiness and wellbeing.
    And hopefully, have less of 'those days'. :)
    I'd love to read your comments about how you managed to move on after a challenging circumstance/day - you can share it on my Facebook page.
    P.S. This is the second version of this post - the first inexplicably deleted itself. I can think of no other explanation than the title above. :)    
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Getting heated over the 'microwave' generation

4/7/2011

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    I'm sure you've all heard of the 'slow food' movement. It developed in the '80s in response to the vast array of fast food chains springing up all over the globe, serving millions of kilojoule-laden, greasy meals to the masses.
    In my opinion, it appears that several factors helped drive this franchising phenomenon: cheap meals, fast meals, and slick marketing. The first and last factors aside, what interests me at the moment is our need these days to have everything 'right now'. Just as we don't like having to wait too long to wolf down our burgers, we also don't like to wait for much of anything else, such as (to name just a few):
- for our internet pages to load
- languishing in a telephone queue (or any sort of queue, for that matter)
- to get our tax cheque in the mail, or deposited into our account
- for the latest movie to be released
- snail mail
- for the results from our latest assignment/exam/medical tests
- the interminable wait to see if our manuscript has been accepted by an agent or publisher
- waiting for..... (insert your pet peeve here).

    You get the picture. We don't like to wait. I'm sure it has something to do with our genetic make-up, as young children are the worst.
     As I mentioned in my post last week, it's the school holidays, and I've promised to take my four energetic youngsters to see Cars 2 at the cinemas. Unfortunately, I made the fatal mistake of telling them about it prior to the longed-for event, which is planned for tomorrow. 
    A little word of advice here for parents (and parents-of-the-future, for that matter): don't tell your kids until the second before, prior to embarking on an exciting adventure/activity. Any earlier than that and you're just setting yourself up for uminaginable heckling: "Are we going to see Cars 2 tomorrow, Mum?" "What time are we going, Mum?" "How many hours left 'til we go, Mum?"
    I'm seriously considering purchasing a set of earplugs. Or three sets (one for my husband and our babysitter, too).
    All this musing about the 'microwave' generation of today has got me thinking about how this applies to writing - or more specifically, readers. If people these days are more likely to read a short blog than a book, a magazine than a manuscript, or a newspaper over a novel, then the onus is on us writers to adapt.
    Of course, there's the meteoric rise of the e-book, allowing readers everywhere to instantly download copies of their favourite reading material, from online ezines to the classics. 
    It will be interesting to observe how popular fiction evolves in response to this need to have, and do, everything quickly. Already, action-infused crime and thriller novels regularly top the charts, as do heart-pounding romances. And while some writers may be able to go against the flow regarding novel length, such as JK Rowling with her weighty Harry Potter tomes, will we also begin to see a dominance of shorter novels lining bookstore shelves (or online e-book stores)?
    Maybe. But it's my opinion that of more importance than book length will be the style of the writing itself. More than ever before, there is now a need for tight plotlines, realistic and well-developed characters, and snappy dialogue. Taking until the third chapter to hook the reader just isn't going to cut it anymore. Neither are jarring point-of-view slips, anaemic characters, or 'telling' rather than 'showing'.
    Movies are no different. To hold the attention of cinema-goers these days, they are brighter, bolder, and faster than ever before - not to mention coming out of the screen at you in 3D.
    I'm expecting Cars 2 tomorrow to follow this formula. But unfortunately (for this impatient Yours Truly), I'm just going to have to wait and see. :) 
    Feel free to share your waiting 'pet peeve' on my Facebook page.
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Looking forward, looking back

26/6/2011

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Looking forward, looking back. I've come a long way down the track...
~Slim Dusty
    I took a moment today (no small feat, considering it's the first day of the school holidays!) to reflect on the past ten years. So much has happened in that time; some circumstances have been amazing and exciting, others more of a challenge. But hopefully, coming out the other side has made me a little wiser and more mature (well, I'd like to think so, lol!).
    I don't think I would have believed it if someone had told me - as a young, newly-graduated, married 24 year-old - that in ten years' time I would be a published novelist (with another manuscript half-completed), happily married to my best friend and with four young children together, and 10 kg lighter.
    In that time, I've also had five different jobs, travelled throughout Europe, and moved to a new town by the sea, five hours' drive away.
    If I could write a letter to my 24 year-old self, these are some of the points I would include:
1. Try to finish things you start
Following through has never been one of my strong points - from completing my novel (which sat unfinished, with just two chapters to go, for around six years!), to getting around to changing our home internet plan. There always seems to be so many other little, mundane things in life that take up all of my time. But even just spending 15 minutes a day on completing a larger project will get it done eventually - it just requires a little focus.
2. Don't confuse activity with productivity
My life always seems to be very 'full' - four kids, a husband, a part-time job and another novel on the way will do that to you - but over the years I've often found myself busy, but really not getting done any of the things I actually had to do that day. Ever heard the story about the rocks and the sand in the jar? The sand had often been going in first, leaving no room for the rock priorities. This is gradually changing for me, but there's still a long way to go. :)
3. KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid
Remember how it felt when you first graduated from school or university, when there seemed to be about a zillion things you could do with your life? Here's a tip: pick one. The confusing array of choices these days - from which career to select, to which hobby we want to focus on next, to the flavour of 31-derful different types of icecream in our sundae - can actually lead to inertia. Or procrastination. Or both (trust me - I know a whole heap about the Big 'P').
4. Waste less time
In the number of hours I've spent over the years in mindless frittering - such as leafing through catalogues, watching useless televsion, or poring over almost every word in the weekend newspapers - I'm sure I could have written ten novels by now. Or learnt several languages. Or anything else you care to name that takes oodles of time to accomplish, and is a whole lot more important than the above activities. You get the picture.
5. Don't wait for perfection
There will rarely ever be the perfect time to do something. The very small portion of melancholy in my character likes to have all the details worked out before I launch into something. But I've discovered that the planets align very infrequently, and it's not likely to happen today. So, with that thing you've been thinking of doing, maybe been planning for awhile now? Just do it.

    The above snippets of advice are just a few I can think of off the top of my head; I'm sure there are many more (and I'd include them here if it wasn't the first day of the school holidays ;) ).
    So, tell me: what 'pearls of wisdom' would you tell your younger self? Share it on my Facebook page.
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Please stop the merry-go-round!

23/5/2011

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    On Saturday, I was reading in the Courier Mail Q Weekend Magazine - over a skinny vanilla latte, extra hot, half-strength on the syrup, thanks :) - about the latest results of a four-year US study that revealed meditation slows down the ageing process. Yes, you read that correctly - we no longer need botox, liposuction, and torturously-intense exercise regimes to keep us looking younger (although I'm sure these all help :) ).
    According to this study's results, Q Weekend reports, "by protecting caps called telomeres on the ends of our chromosomes, meditation might help delay the process of ageing".
    Sounds promising to me.
    Prayer has also been likened to meditation, but really, anything that reduces stress - from going for a long walk outdoors, to cuddling up with a good book, or sharing a laugh with friends or family - has got to be good for you.
    All this got me thinking about the hectic pace of our lives these days. Everywhere we turn, we're bombarded by increasing workloads and responsibilities, multi-tasking, Junior's soccer practice and huge homework assignment he needs help with, and updates on Twitter, Facebook, and email to check and respond to. Aaargh!
    Sometimes we just need to get off the merry-go-round of our crazy lives and take the time to simply 'be'.
    Which is why I decided not to attend the Bundaberg WriteFest 2011 on Saturday. I really wanted to go, especially as regional areas see very little of this sort of thing happening right on our doorsteps.
    But I just couldn't justify it. I guess it was a combination of not having caught up from a two-day work meeting down in Brisbane earlier in the week, us moving house in under two weeks' time (and no, I haven't even started packing yet!), plus the fact it clashed with the kids' soccer games and nap times (yes, I'm one of 'those' soccer mums now, lol!).
    It would have been great to attend and discover more about how to improve my writing craft, but I figure there's probably nothing new that I can't learn about from an online writing course or manual. There's so much information out there already, so missing out on a day-long conference isn't going to 'make or break' my fledgling writing career.
    But not having any time to actually write, will. So instead of learning about writing on Saturday, I took the time to actually do it, sitting down with my notebook and crafting another scene, while my eldest son kicked a soccer ball around a grassy field with seven other six- and seven-year-olds.
    Consequently, my schedule on Saturday felt just that teensy bit more manageable. Saying 'no' to something non-essential, even if it may seem worthwhile at the time, is one sure-fire way to slow down the pace of the crazy carousel of life.
    What's one thing - something that doesn't fit into your core values - that you can say 'no' to this week? There's a high chance that you'll stay looking younger for longer as a result. :)
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I think I can, I think I can...

13/5/2011

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    It's amazing what you can do when you set yourself a challenge. Or in my case, when someone else sets it for you. It's only two weeks into the May: You Write Your Novel Challenge, and already I'm totally surprised (shocked, actually) by my ability to focus and persevere. Even when I have an evening work meeting and don't get home until 8:30pm. Or even worse, when I have a houseful of vomiting children (that was a fun couple of days - NOT!).
     True, my sleep is now suffering in a big way, as writing sessions 'til midnight are scarily becoming the norm. At this rate, I may get my manuscript completed in record time (for me), but I'll look like a complete, worn-out hag by the end of it, lol! This better be worth it...
    I'm finding that just like "the little engine that could", mindset is a big part of this minor miracle (my writing every day, that is - not me looking like an exhausted hag, lol!). I'm daily telling myself that writing every day - with a goal of 1000 words - IS what I'll be doing for the next 80 days. And so far, I've managed to trick myself into doing it.
    They say it only takes 28 days to develop a new habit. This may be a scary thing, if we're talking about that extra chocolate bar you've started picking up each day on your way home from the office :). Or it can be an overwhelmingly positive thing: like when you start getting up a half-hour earlier to go for a walk in the crisp morning air. Or when you decide to turn the tv off a little earlier each night to go to bed, or spend the time chatting with your partner over a cuppa. Or, like me, you decide that you might as well write every day - because the alternative (very occasional weekend writing sessions) just wasn't working for you.
    So, the next time you find yourself a little frustrated over your current life-direction (or lack of direction), remember the little engine that could. 
    And the little, crazy writer who's up at midnight in front of a glowing computer screen, mumbling, "I think I can, I think I can... zzzzz!" :)   
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What's Your Excuse?

20/4/2011

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    "Wanted: one large box of motivation. Will accept second-hand from someone who has plenty to spare."
    Lately, I've had half-a-mind to post the above ad in Craigslist, the way my writing has NOT been progressing.
    This may come as a surprise to some people. I am a published author, after all, so am obviously capable of writing 70+ thousand words.
    But when I reveal that my novel sat unfinished for six years - yes, SIX! - with just two chapters to go, perhaps you'll understand.
    With my current manuscript, I have a synopsis, character outlines, ten chapters planned and three-and-a-bit already written.
    BUT (there's always a big one of those lurking somewhere! :) ), I haven't written anything for over a month now. And I'm concerned that this month could easily, sneakily, turn into a year. Or two.
    Sure, there's been two house inspections, a couple of bank and real estate property valuations, a job application and interview to prepare for ... not to mention the school holidays, with four energetic ankle-biters running and yelling around our rather small living area.
    However, I'm coming to realise that there'll always be 101 excuses. Heck, I could fill a book with them (I wonder if it would ever get finished, lol!).
    I came across this very true quote recently: "Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used." (Robert Brault)
    We're all going to have excuses: too busy, too tired, have too many children, the in-laws are coming to visit, I have to clean my house, I'm moving house, the dog needs to be taken to the vet ... well, you get the drift.
    It's only when we step over all the excuses and begin to walk along the path leading to our values and priorities, that we'll find ourselves actually doing what we were made for: our destiny.
    So in that vein, I'm considering embracing a tool to help give me a proverbial boost up my -ahem- writer's seat and get writing again. It's called May: You Write Your Novel, and is basically a challenge to writers to complete an eighty thousand word manuscript in 80 days (May, June, and half of July).
    There are no prizes for completing the 80K in this time period, nor will there be anyone checking over my shoulder, but the amazing buzz of accomplishment will be well worth the inconvenience of squeezing 1000 words a day out of my rather full schedule.
    Oh, for the record, the excuse listed above about moving house? It's actually true - I will be moving right in the middle of the May: You Write Your Novel challenge.
    But that's really only an excuse, right?!?
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A Spot of Gardening

30/3/2011

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    "Mum, Mum!" 
    My three-year-old son came running into the house, so excited he was almost bursting out of his skin. "I'm planting lemons!"
    I went to investigate, but had to hide a smile as I inspected his "lemon": an old nectarine seed, pushed deep down into a pile of freshly-mown grass on our front lawn. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his seed wasn't of the citrus variety.
    This little moment did get me thinking about seeds and gardening, though. Since I have more of a "black" thumb than a green one, killing almost every plant that has the misfortune of having me as its owner, this was an unusual thing.
    I even ventured out into our back garden and began weeding it, and in the process finding our lemon-tree laden with almost-ripe fruit (I hadn't looked at it in months), and some fragrant chives I unfortunately mistook for weeds.
    While I laboured in the hot sun, pulling out cobblers pegs prickles, I got to thinking about the oft-repeated analogy of our lives being like gardens. The principles of sowing-and-reaping, and the need to frequently remove unwanted weeds (negative thoughts or behaviour patterns), both apply here.
    So what does this have to do with writing? (I am an author, after all. :) )
    As with everything in life - including pulling out weeds in a garden - you need to write regularly and often to be successful; to hone your craft, find your flow.
    You also need to plant the right "seeds": read books by authors you admire, study your genre, attend writing workshops and conferences, and join a writers' group or find a critiqueing "buddy".
    Personally, I'm not quite yet "hitting the mark" in all of these areas (especially the "writing regularly" part; the cover of my novel-writing notebook is becoming a little dusty :) ).
    However, with a little application - and perhaps some time spent mulling over my characters and plot-lines while I pull a few weeds in my garden outside - I know that I will eventually develop the habits and skills I need to become a better writer. 
    And perhaps even discover a few surprising crops of lemons/nectarines along the way. :)



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S-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g

21/3/2011

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I don't know about you, but I personally don't like change. I've never found it easy. I suspect that even after passing through the myriad of changes and difficult circumstances encountered by us all throughout life, it won't get any easier.

However, lately I've discovered that there's an upside to living in the midst of change (apart from now having more interesting topics to talk about at a dinner party).

During the past few years, I've been most definitely moved out of my comfort zone - having four children in five years (can hardly believe it myself!), moving to a new city five hours' drive away from extended family and friends, and enduring four managers in the space of just nine months in my new job.

But after all the dust has settled, I now find a new strength and depth I didn't realise I possessed. While I wasn't looking, I've become a more rounded (not literally, lol!) and empathic person.

Understandably, this has huge benefits for my writing. Where perhaps I may have previously struggled in exploring topics outside my own relatively narrow realm of experience, I find I can now bring a more believable insight to various characters and scenarios.

In the novel I'm writing at the moment, I'm in the middle of describing a fifteen-year-old girl's experience of losing her boyfriend in a car accident. This is completely removed from Blue Freedom (my previous published novel), which was comparatively all "cocktails on the beach at sunset", but I'm surprised to find myself being able to really get inside the girl's head/character, imagine just what it would feel like to be suddenly hurtled into your worst nightmare.

Perhaps this ability simply comes with maturity - I'm now 34, but was only in my early twenties when I began writing Blue Freedom.

But I'd like to also think that the mosaic of experiences I've encountered in life - many of them stretching and challenging - have also contributed to a greater insight as a writer.

I would encourage other writers to not always resist being pushed out of their comfort zones, but to embrace the greater depth it can bring to them as individuals and to their creative craft.
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    Published author. Dietitian. Mother of 4. Eternally curious. Enjoys life's adventures. Loves dark chocolate and a good coffee.

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