As promised, this is the first of my blog posts discussing the 10 items outlined in the Action for Happiness (see my last post for more details).
    Consequently, I've been thinking a bit about GIVING (the first item on the list) and how it can make us happier. We all know this to be true ín theory - after all, the 'Golden Rule' is one of the first maxims drummed into us by our mothers when, as selfish and egocentric two-year-olds, we absolutely refuse to share with our sister/brother/friend/neighbour/dog.
    But as adults, sometimes it's difficult to make this connection. As our materialistic society espouses (just turn on the television for a primer): If you want to be happier, you need more 'stuff' - and to get more 'stuff', it seems crazy to give some away, right?!
    Not exactly ... 
    Giving is actually one of the key ways to make us feel happier, more altruistic. More human, and less animal (although animals are known to share, as well). Giving can also foster connection with others, showing them we care. And who doesn't want to feel more connected?
    Unfortuately, these days our view of the word 'connection' has more to do with our electronic gadgets, and less to do with a chat over the fence with our neighbour. 
    I've even fallen prey to this fallacy myself. This past week, my modem decided that it was going to randomly control when it would allow me to access the internet - depending on its moods, hormones, or some other strange signals I hadn't been able to decode. So I unplugged it and eagerly waited for another to arrive in the post.
    Those five or so days dragged by, with me beginning to feel varying degrees of disconnection. But from what? Sure, I wasn't able to email friends or family, or check out what was happening with all my 'friends' on Facebook, or update my blog, or do some more research for my latest novel.
     But life still went on. My immediate family were still there, thundering around with their little feet (and one pair of larger feet) in our wooden-floored house. A friend still dropped by for a coffee. We still went to church on Sunday, and talked with other friends.
    So, while the internet (and social media) can definitely help in us feeling connected, it's really only one form - and a second-rate one, at that.
    This week, I'm setting out to have more real connection with others (with actual, real people - not just thumbnail photos on a social networking website ;) ). And, as I mentioned above, one great way to do this is by giving. Not money, necessarily (although there's definitely a place for that), but in my time, energy, even ideas.
    I'm looking forward to the challenge, and will keep you updated with how it goes on my Facebook page. Pop on over and share your thoughts about ways you like to give, or things you do to stay connected with others. :)
P.S. My new modem is great at keeping me connencted to the internet - if I could just see the screen! My computer monitor has now conspired to launch into static at really crucial moments i.e. writing my latest scene, internet banking, blogging. Gotta love technology! :-/

    I'm sitting here at my favourite cafe, still damp from having an extra-hot, skinny latte (with half-strength vanilla syrup, of course) tipped over me by an over-exuberant four-year-old. My hand is stinging from the burning liquid, and my previously-luscious square of carrot cake with cream cheese icing is now a pile of soggy mush.
    It's just been 'one of those days'. Have you had one of those lately?
    The funny thing is that I'd been planning to write an inspirational blog piece today about a website I've recently come acrosss: www.actionforhappiness.org . I was going to write something profound about how it's interesting that when I/you discover something new/inspirational/challenging/life-changing, we often don't recognise its potential at first. Instead of reaching out and grabbing with both hands onto the new project/investment opportunity/job/story idea/trip-of-a-lifetime, we can sometimes hesitate, stuck in the paralysis of indecision that fear brings.
    Unfortunately, the words 'inspirational' and 'profound' somehow aren't in my vocabulary today. :)
    But, despite it being 'one of those days', I've managed to get up and dust myself off to continue with this planned blog post.
    On the above-mentioned website, you'll find the 10 Keys to Happier Living resource, based on latest scientific research about happiness (love the retro photos, too :)). The GREAT DREAM acronym outlines 10 key principles that positively impact on happiness levels:
    Giving
    Relating
    Exercising
    Appreciating
    Trying out
   
    Direction
    Resilience
    Emotion
    Acceptance
    Meaning

    For something a little different, I'm planning to explore these ten principles further over the coming weeks - not in a dry and factual way, but with 'skin on', based on the experiences of myself and others, and with tips on how to apply them to your life.
    I hope you'll join me on this journey as we discover more about how to 'get happy'. Who knows, you may even find yourself achieving a greater level of overall happiness and wellbeing.
    And hopefully, have less of 'those days'. :)
    I'd love to read your comments about how you managed to move on after a challenging circumstance/day - you can share it on my Facebook page.
    P.S. This is the second version of this post - the first inexplicably deleted itself. I can think of no other explanation than the title above. :)    

    I'm sure you've all heard of the 'slow food' movement. It developed in the '80s in response to the vast array of fast food chains springing up all over the globe, serving millions of kilojoule-laden, greasy meals to the masses.
    In my opinion, it appears that several factors helped drive this franchising phenomenon: cheap meals, fast meals, and slick marketing. The first and last factors aside, what interests me at the moment is our need these days to have everything 'right now'. Just as we don't like having to wait too long to wolf down our burgers, we also don't like to wait for much of anything else, such as (to name just a few):
- for our internet pages to load
- languishing in a telephone queue (or any sort of queue, for that matter)
- to get our tax cheque in the mail, or deposited into our account
- for the latest movie to be released
- snail mail
- for the results from our latest assignment/exam/medical tests
- the interminable wait to see if our manuscript has been accepted by an agent or publisher
- waiting for..... (insert your pet peeve here).

    You get the picture. We don't like to wait. I'm sure it has something to do with our genetic make-up, as young children are the worst.
     As I mentioned in my post last week, it's the school holidays, and I've promised to take my four energetic youngsters to see Cars 2 at the cinemas. Unfortunately, I made the fatal mistake of telling them about it prior to the longed-for event, which is planned for tomorrow. 
    A little word of advice here for parents (and parents-of-the-future, for that matter): don't tell your kids until the second before, prior to embarking on an exciting adventure/activity. Any earlier than that and you're just setting yourself up for uminaginable heckling: "Are we going to see Cars 2 tomorrow, Mum?" "What time are we going, Mum?" "How many hours left 'til we go, Mum?"
    I'm seriously considering purchasing a set of earplugs. Or three sets (one for my husband and our babysitter, too).
    All this musing about the 'microwave' generation of today has got me thinking about how this applies to writing - or more specifically, readers. If people these days are more likely to read a short blog than a book, a magazine than a manuscript, or a newspaper over a novel, then the onus is on us writers to adapt.
    Of course, there's the meteoric rise of the e-book, allowing readers everywhere to instantly download copies of their favourite reading material, from online ezines to the classics. 
    It will be interesting to observe how popular fiction evolves in response to this need to have, and do, everything quickly. Already, action-infused crime and thriller novels regularly top the charts, as do heart-pounding romances. And while some writers may be able to go against the flow regarding novel length, such as JK Rowling with her weighty Harry Potter tomes, will we also begin to see a dominance of shorter novels lining bookstore shelves (or online e-book stores)?
    Maybe. But it's my opinion that of more importance than book length will be the style of the writing itself. More than ever before, there is now a need for tight plotlines, realistic and well-developed characters, and snappy dialogue. Taking until the third chapter to hook the reader just isn't going to cut it anymore. Neither are jarring point-of-view slips, anaemic characters, or 'telling' rather than 'showing'.
    Movies are no different. To hold the attention of cinema-goers these days, they are brighter, bolder, and faster than ever before - not to mention coming out of the screen at you in 3D.
    I'm expecting Cars 2 tomorrow to follow this formula. But unfortunately (for this impatient Yours Truly), I'm just going to have to wait and see. :) 
    Feel free to share your waiting 'pet peeve' on my Facebook page.

Looking forward, looking back. I've come a long way down the track...
~Slim Dusty
    I took a moment today (no small feat, considering it's the first day of the school holidays!) to reflect on the past ten years. So much has happened in that time; some circumstances have been amazing and exciting, others more of a challenge. But hopefully, coming out the other side has made me a little wiser and more mature (well, I'd like to think so, lol!).
    I don't think I would have believed it if someone had told me - as a young, newly-graduated, married 24 year-old - that in ten years' time I would be a published novelist (with another manuscript half-completed), happily married to my best friend and with four young children together, and 10 kg lighter.
    In that time, I've also had five different jobs, travelled throughout Europe, and moved to a new town by the sea, five hours' drive away.
    If I could write a letter to my 24 year-old self, these are some of the points I would include:
1. Try to finish things you start
Following through has never been one of my strong points - from completing my novel (which sat unfinished, with just two chapters to go, for around six years!), to getting around to changing our home internet plan. There always seems to be so many other little, mundane things in life that take up all of my time. But even just spending 15 minutes a day on completing a larger project will get it done eventually - it just requires a little focus.
2. Don't confuse activity with productivity
My life always seems to be very 'full' - four kids, a husband, a part-time job and another novel on the way will do that to you - but over the years I've often found myself busy, but really not getting done any of the things I actually had to do that day. Ever heard the story about the rocks and the sand in the jar? The sand had often been going in first, leaving no room for the rock priorities. This is gradually changing for me, but there's still a long way to go. :)
3. KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid
Remember how it felt when you first graduated from school or university, when there seemed to be about a zillion things you could do with your life? Here's a tip: pick one. The confusing array of choices these days - from which career to select, to which hobby we want to focus on next, to the flavour of 31-derful different types of icecream in our sundae - can actually lead to inertia. Or procrastination. Or both (trust me - I know a whole heap about the Big 'P').
4. Waste less time
In the number of hours I've spent over the years in mindless frittering - such as leafing through catalogues, watching useless televsion, or poring over almost every word in the weekend newspapers - I'm sure I could have written ten novels by now. Or learnt several languages. Or anything else you care to name that takes oodles of time to accomplish, and is a whole lot more important than the above activities. You get the picture.
5. Don't wait for perfection
There will rarely ever be the perfect time to do something. The very small portion of melancholy in my character likes to have all the details worked out before I launch into something. But I've discovered that the planets align very infrequently, and it's not likely to happen today. So, with that thing you've been thinking of doing, maybe been planning for awhile now? Just do it.

    The above snippets of advice are just a few I can think of off the top of my head; I'm sure there are many more (and I'd include them here if it wasn't the first day of the school holidays ;) ).
    So, tell me: what 'pearls of wisdom' would you tell your younger self? Share it on my Facebook page.

    In the middle of the frenetic craziness of packing and moving house recently (hence the lateness of this post), I stumbled across an awesome website: www.sparkpeople.com . Apart from the zingy name, which I love (who doesn't want to be 'sparky'?), the concept and vision of the site's developer caught my attention.
    It's basically a site focussing on healthy eating and lifestyle, exercise and weightloss - complete with personalised diet plans, fitness routines, and recipes. And the best thing is the price: free!
    The site creator has sunk $5 million into the project (obviously he's not short of a buck), with the altruistic vision to see people of every background and economic status being able to access top-quality weightloss and health advice, and the resulting better health.
    I'm sure this guy could have invested his five million elsewhere, earning himself a lot of money. But he chose to help people, instead.
    It's this same sort of selfless behaviour that my family and I have witnessed recently. As I mentioned above, we've been moving house - with all the accompanying mess, clutter, heavy lifting, and hassle that goes along with it.
    But a number of people in our circle of friends and acquaintances have put their own lives on hold to help us - bringing trailers, lifting furniture, packing and wiping out cupboards, and taking care of our four children.
    Without this sort of help, I'd feel more exhausted than I already am. I'm so thankful for their assistance, their can-do attitudes that have demonstrated some of the best aspects of human nature.
    Just like the SparkPeople creator, they've given without expectation of receiving anything back in return - apart from a grateful handshake or hug from us. :)
    So I'm now in the mood to 'pay it forward', to bless someone else just as I've been blessed. It might just be something small, like paying for an extra cup of coffee at my local cafe, or giving an elderly, garden-loving neighbour a gift of a pot plant to brighten her day. And the amazing thing is, I know that I'll feel just as great as the person receiving.
    For an extra, feel-good zing to the everyday humdrum of life, I encourage you to find someone you can help out, bless, or be nice to - just because you can, without expecting anything back.
    And you never know - your selfless action may be just the 'spark' needed to set off a whole culture of giving in your community.
    I'd love to hear any ways you're paying it forward on my Facebook page. :)

    On Saturday, I was reading in the Courier Mail Q Weekend Magazine - over a skinny vanilla latte, extra hot, half-strength on the syrup, thanks :) - about the latest results of a four-year US study that revealed meditation slows down the ageing process. Yes, you read that correctly - we no longer need botox, liposuction, and torturously-intense exercise regimes to keep us looking younger (although I'm sure these all help :) ).
    According to this study's results, Q Weekend reports, "by protecting caps called telomeres on the ends of our chromosomes, meditation might help delay the process of ageing".
    Sounds promising to me.
    Prayer has also been likened to meditation, but really, anything that reduces stress - from going for a long walk outdoors, to cuddling up with a good book, or sharing a laugh with friends or family - has got to be good for you.
    All this got me thinking about the hectic pace of our lives these days. Everywhere we turn, we're bombarded by increasing workloads and responsibilities, multi-tasking, Junior's soccer practice and huge homework assignment he needs help with, and updates on Twitter, Facebook, and email to check and respond to. Aaargh!
    Sometimes we just need to get off the merry-go-round of our crazy lives and take the time to simply 'be'.
    Which is why I decided not to attend the Bundaberg WriteFest 2011 on Saturday. I really wanted to go, especially as regional areas see very little of this sort of thing happening right on our doorsteps.
    But I just couldn't justify it. I guess it was a combination of not having caught up from a two-day work meeting down in Brisbane earlier in the week, us moving house in under two weeks' time (and no, I haven't even started packing yet!), plus the fact it clashed with the kids' soccer games and nap times (yes, I'm one of 'those' soccer mums now, lol!).
    It would have been great to attend and discover more about how to improve my writing craft, but I figure there's probably nothing new that I can't learn about from an online writing course or manual. There's so much information out there already, so missing out on a day-long conference isn't going to 'make or break' my fledgling writing career.
    But not having any time to actually write, will. So instead of learning about writing on Saturday, I took the time to actually do it, sitting down with my notebook and crafting another scene, while my eldest son kicked a soccer ball around a grassy field with seven other six- and seven-year-olds.
    Consequently, my schedule on Saturday felt just that teensy bit more manageable. Saying 'no' to something non-essential, even if it may seem worthwhile at the time, is one sure-fire way to slow down the pace of the crazy carousel of life.
    What's one thing - something that doesn't fit into your core values - that you can say 'no' to this week? There's a high chance that you'll stay looking younger for longer as a result. :)

    It's amazing what you can do when you set yourself a challenge. Or in my case, when someone else sets it for you. It's only two weeks into the May: You Write Your Novel Challenge, and already I'm totally surprised (shocked, actually) by my ability to focus and persevere. Even when I have an evening work meeting and don't get home until 8:30pm. Or even worse, when I have a houseful of vomiting children (that was a fun couple of days - NOT!).
     True, my sleep is now suffering in a big way, as writing sessions 'til midnight are scarily becoming the norm. At this rate, I may get my manuscript completed in record time (for me), but I'll look like a complete, worn-out hag by the end of it, lol! This better be worth it...
    I'm finding that just like "the little engine that could", mindset is a big part of this minor miracle (my writing every day, that is - not me looking like an exhausted hag, lol!). I'm daily telling myself that writing every day - with a goal of 1000 words - IS what I'll be doing for the next 80 days. And so far, I've managed to trick myself into doing it.
    They say it only takes 28 days to develop a new habit. This may be a scary thing, if we're talking about that extra chocolate bar you've started picking up each day on your way home from the office :). Or it can be an overwhelmingly positive thing: like when you start getting up a half-hour earlier to go for a walk in the crisp morning air. Or when you decide to turn the tv off a little earlier each night to go to bed, or spend the time chatting with your partner over a cuppa. Or, like me, you decide that you might as well write every day - because the alternative (very occasional weekend writing sessions) just wasn't working for you.
    So, the next time you find yourself a little frustrated over your current life-direction (or lack of direction), remember the little engine that could. 
    And the little, crazy writer who's up at midnight in front of a glowing computer screen, mumbling, "I think I can, I think I can... zzzzz!" :)   

This week, I’ve finally gotten back on my horse – metaphorically speaking. It’s been so long (almost a couple of months, I’m ashamed to admit) since I’ve worked on my novel, that I’d become a little rusty, a bit “gun shy”. Too long out of the writing saddle had me feeling a touch wary of launching back in. I mean, who really likes being “saddle sore”? (Those infrequent riders like me will appreciate what I’m saying here. :) )

But this week – courtesy of May: You Write Your Novel – I finally decided that I’d had enough of my conscience niggling me every time I spied my writing notebook sitting on the arm of the couch; every time my imagination conjured up images of another inch-thick layer of dust settling onto my book with each passing week.

It was time to grab the reins once more, holler, “Hi-ho, Silver!” (well, maybe whisper it – us creative types can already have a bit of a “loopy” image, lol!), and grab my writing muse by the horns. (Hmm – I seem to be mixing my metaphors here. Whatever.)

The funny thing is that things are rarely as difficult as we imagine they’ll be. Instead of staring out into space for hours with a blank page before me, I actually found it refreshing – even fun – to return to my languishing characters and breathe new life into another chapter of their suspended lives. I realised that, in a way, I had actually missed my regular novel-writing sessions, the endorphin-buzz from finding my flow. From simply creating.

So I’m trying to remember this feeling, would bottle it if I could. And then when those troublesome twins, Lethargy and Complacency, threaten to wrap their bony little fingers around my writing hand, I’ll be able to easily lasso them by the positive memories of my last writing session.

And ride off into the sunset of “happily ever after”… :)

So, what about you? What “horse” have you been avoiding getting back on? Is it launching back into your writing (or some other creative pursuit), or even something to do with your career (maybe applying for a new, more fulfilling job) or relationships (starting over, or improving what you already have)? Whatever your horse is, know that that very first ride – although a little scary – will never be quite as bad as you’ve imagined. And once you start going in the right direction, you’re already heading off towards your own sunset. :)

    "Wanted: one large box of motivation. Will accept second-hand from someone who has plenty to spare."
    Lately, I've had half-a-mind to post the above ad in Craigslist, the way my writing has NOT been progressing.
    This may come as a surprise to some people. I am a published author, after all, so am obviously capable of writing 70+ thousand words.
    But when I reveal that my novel sat unfinished for six years - yes, SIX! - with just two chapters to go, perhaps you'll understand.
    With my current manuscript, I have a synopsis, character outlines, ten chapters planned and three-and-a-bit already written.
    BUT (there's always a big one of those lurking somewhere! :) ), I haven't written anything for over a month now. And I'm concerned that this month could easily, sneakily, turn into a year. Or two.
    Sure, there's been two house inspections, a couple of bank and real estate property valuations, a job application and interview to prepare for ... not to mention the school holidays, with four energetic ankle-biters running and yelling around our rather small living area.
    However, I'm coming to realise that there'll always be 101 excuses. Heck, I could fill a book with them (I wonder if it would ever get finished, lol!).
    I came across this very true quote recently: "Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used." (Robert Brault)
    We're all going to have excuses: too busy, too tired, have too many children, the in-laws are coming to visit, I have to clean my house, I'm moving house, the dog needs to be taken to the vet ... well, you get the drift.
    It's only when we step over all the excuses and begin to walk along the path leading to our values and priorities, that we'll find ourselves actually doing what we were made for: our destiny.
    So in that vein, I'm considering embracing a tool to help give me a proverbial boost up my -ahem- writer's seat and get writing again. It's called May: You Write Your Novel, and is basically a challenge to writers to complete an eighty thousand word manuscript in 80 days (May, June, and half of July).
    There are no prizes for completing the 80K in this time period, nor will there be anyone checking over my shoulder, but the amazing buzz of accomplishment will be well worth the inconvenience of squeezing 1000 words a day out of my rather full schedule.
    Oh, for the record, the excuse listed above about moving house? It's actually true - I will be moving right in the middle of the May: You Write Your Novel challenge.
    But that's really only an excuse, right?!?