The other day I woke up feeling really grumpy. There was no apparent reason - although perhaps staying up too late the night before (again!), a lingering cold, or an earlier-than-usual morning alarm all didn't help. Anyone in my path was in danger of being snapped at. It didn't help the fact that everything appeared to be going wrong, or that the kids seemed a little more 'rambunctious' than usual (grrr!).
    So I thought it quite ironic that this week's (okay, fortnight's!) blog post, from the 10 Keys to Happier Living, is all about EMOTION: Take a positive approach.
    When I think about this concept - of how we really should view situations in a 'glass-half-full' way - I'm reminded of a friend of mine. Let's call her Theresa (not her real name, by the way). Theresa's life probably hasn't turned out exactly as she'd originally planned. She's a single mum, plus a foster carer to two small children, and lives in a tiny community 30 minutes' drive from the nearest town. Sounds like reason enough to get down-in-the-dumps pretty regularly...
    The inspirational thing about Theresa is that while she does struggle at times - who wouldn't?! - every time I see her she's smiling! I asked her recently how she manages to get by, and she replied with a laugh, "Well, I have to keep on being positive. Sometimes you just have to laugh, or you'd cry!"
    Research backs this up. One example is Fredricksen's 'broaden-and-build' theory, which suggests  that positive emotions "broaden the scopes of attention and cognition", thereby helping to "initiate upward spirals toward increasing emotional well-being."
    Basically, when we feel positive emotions - such as joy, gratitude, and contentment - this enhances a range of resources in our lives, including social, physical, and intellectual, helping us to flourish.
    Now, I'm not saying here that we shouldn't be realistic when it comes to the 'rollercoaster of life' - with all its ups and downs - but having a positive outlook certainly helps the 'downs' to be a whole lot more bearable.
    So, what are you feeling good about? Reply with a comment below, or share on my Facebook page. :)

    Ever seen the movie Bounce (starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck)? While it received mixed reviews on its release in November 2000, what I find interesting is one of the main themes in the storyline - resilience. This also happens to be the 7th key (yes, we're almost to the end already) in the 10 Keys to Happier Living.

    I don't want to spoil the plot (for those who haven't watched it yet but may like to), but basically it follows a typical, romantic storyline - boy meets girl, then they fall in love. But there's a twist. The girl doesn't know that their lives are intertwined through a past tragedy.
    The 'bounce' in the title presumably relates to her (and his) ability to develop resilience and bounce back after things don't go to plan (to put it mildly).
    If you're wondering what 'resilience' actually is (and why it's important), www.psychologytoday.com provides a good definition: 'Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever...  Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback.'    
    It's even regarded as being so vital to survival and success, that schools are teaching their students about resilience in programs designed to reduce the incidence and effects of bullying (the Resilience Doughnut is a good example).
    So, how do we go about building resilience? There are various keys to developing more of this quality, but it also pays to keep in mind that this is a long-term goal - not something you can sprout overnight (if only!). An excellent blog post on Psychology Today's online site lists some helpful strategies, including:
1. Maintain good relationships with family and friends, including involvement in community groups and/or faith-based organisations (eg a good local church) to help provide you with social support in times of stress.
2. Take care of yourself, including getting enough healthy food, sleep, and exercise. This area is even more important when you're going through a difficult time.
3. Try to maintain a positive view of life, and visualise what you want.
4. Accept that change is a part of life and come to terms with circumstances that you cannot change.
    In my own journey, whilst I can't profess to have experienced a whole lot of adversity, I've found that learning to adjust to change (stragegy #4 above) has helped me in this area. It doesn't have to be big changes, either (like getting married or moving to another country) - even embracing smaller ones, such as taking up some study in a new skill area, trying out a different hobby or sport, or looking for ways to increase your circle of friends, can all help to improve the way you handle change.
    If you want to learn more about resilience, here's some links:
 Ten hints for creating resilient families
How do we bounce back from adversity?
List of resilience websites and books (Wellbeing Australia)
    So, over to you: what's your one tip for bouncing back after life throws you a curve ball? Share it in the comments below, or on my Facebook page.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” 
~ Brian Littrell

    I must admit, I had an 'uneasy moment' when I first looked at the topic for this blog post: DIRECTION - Having goals to look forward to (the next point in the 10 Keys to Happier Living).
    Don't misunderstand me - I'm all for goals. I love them.
    I just have one problem: I rarely ever achieve them.
    Phew! Now that I've got that uncomfortable confession out of the way, we can move on. :)
    Seriously, we all need to feel as if we're moving forward in life, as if we're actually going somewhere instead of merely being swept along in the current of the daily grind (apologies for the mixed metaphors :) ).
    When we're younger, our main goal might be to make it to the finals in our soccer team, or score an 'A' in a music exam or school grade.
    As we grow, our goals also become bigger. From making it in our chosen careers, to buying a house, pursuing our creative aspirations (such as writing), or having a family... goals spur us on, give us energy, and make the 'ride' in life more meaningful and even enjoyable.    
    An article in Psychology Today presents on this topic very succinctly. Basically, when we achieve progress on our goals, our subjective well-being (SWB - how happy and satisfied we feel in life) increases, with a potential flow-on effect of motivating 'goal-directed behaviours' (check out this diagram from the article).    

The key here, as I see it, is the importance of breaking our larger goals down into achievable 'chunks'. While it's great to have a grand vision to spur us on, we also need to take note of that old saying, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'.
    Perhaps instead of having one big goal (eg to write a best-selling novel), you could break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces (eg to write one chapter a week, or to spend an hour a day on your manuscript). If you can achieve the smaller 'mini-goals', you'll eventually get the big one sorted out - without getting too discouraged in the process.
    To apply this goal-setting principle in your life (and also helping to contribute to increased happiness levels), aim to spend some time this week reevaluating your goals. Do you have any? Are they achieveable? What can you do today (or in the next week) as a small step towards them? (I think I should spend some time completing this exercise, too. :) )
    I'l love to hear all about it on my Facebook page. :)

    I just love one of the latest IKEA tv ads (below) - and not merely for the Braveheart-esque music and 'battle' scene, reminiscent of William Wallace's charge against the English forces in the late 13th century. 

     It's the challenge at the end: Fight boring. Have a go.
    This ties in so neatly with the next theme in the '10 Keys to Happier Living', which is all about TRYING NEW THINGS.
    'Having a go' in life is all about making life interesting, challenging ourselves and the status quo. Not being content to stick with our comfortable (and perhaps 'boring') existence, but instead mixing things up a little.
    And apparently, this can make us happier.
    I came across a blog post by the Happiness Institute recently, detailing how we can boost our happiness levels by experimenting and trying new things. If you're wondering how something as simple as learning a new skill (Latin dancing, anyone?) or doing something a different way can help you be happier, in a nutshell it comes down to improved self-efficacy. Basically, if you can learn to do something new (and do it well), this gives you an increased belief in your ability to succeed at other things.
    Remember the buzz you got as a kid when you learnt to ride a bike for the first time? Or how you felt when you passed your driver's licence test? Your feelings of self-efficacy sky-rocketed, increasing your happiness levels.
    How long has it been since you had that amazing feeling of accomplishment over learning something new? Too long? Today's an excellent time to start. :)
    It could be something as simple as taking a 'walk on the wild side' by trying out a new restaurant or cuisine, reading a book in a different genre to your usual, or checking out the sights in a previously unexplored part of your neighbourhood or city. If you're a writer, like me, you could shake up your usual writing habits by trying a different style, length (eg short-story as opposed to novel-length), or routine (try writing outdoors instead of in your home office).
   If you really want to embrace this concept, you could take up a new hobby, join a club or social group to meet new people, or plan a holiday to an exotic, far-flung destination.
    Sound like fun? I'm having a blast just writing about it! :)
    So, what new things are you planning to try this week? I'd love to hear all about them on my Facebook page. (If you've never 'liked' my page before, this might be an easy way to start 'trying something new' - lol!)

    School holidays are looming in sunny Queensland (where I live), so I thought it was a good time for me to take a break, too. And like the good 'ole saying, 'a change is as good as a holiday', I'm taking a brief hiatus from my '10 Keys to Happier Living' posts to update you on some previous stuff.
    Sooo... it's been awhile since the May: You Write Your Novel Challenge finished (mid-July), and I'd just love to be announcing right now that I made it to the 80,000 word mark. 
    But I didn't. Oops.
    Now, I'd also like to be making some lovely excuses here. 
    But I can't. Dang! 
    See, I wrote a previous post about not accepting excuses, but learning how to manage and work through them. So I guess the ones about us moving house, having a houseful of sick kids for two weeks, and all that other stuff really won't wash.
    Anyway, I have managed to notch up 50,000 words, so I guess that's not doing too badly as a base for this next novel. 
    My next goal is to get it finished by Christmas (another approx 30 - 40,000 words) - but without 'burning the candle at both ends', getting through most days on caffeine, and being a less-than-patient wife and mum. Will see how it goes...
    It's been a good lesson in reassessing my goals, and not pinning all my hopes/ambitions on achieving a set thing. I've discovered that sometimes (actually, MOST times), things in life don't exactly work out to our blueprint plan.
    This is where the ability to be flexible really comes in handy. If we're too rigid, like glass, we're likely to shatter when force is applied. But if we're able to adjust to life's circumstances - including moving out the goal posts, if necessary - we'll be able to bounce back. Just like rubber.
    I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you stay 'flexible' in your day-to-day life. Share them on my Facebook page. 
    P.S. I just found out today that 'Blue Freedom' has been short-listed for the CALEB Prize awards for 2011. It's nice to know that other people (than just me) like it. :)

   I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. 
~ Emma Goldman

    I've been trying to stop and smell the roses more during the past week, but am having a bit of trouble... not metaphorically-speaking, but physically. A lingering cold combined with chronic hayfever has left me with a blocked-up 'sniffer'!
    Despite this, every time I pass the rose garden in front of my work I still stoop to admire the latest pink bloom - especially because the fourth item in the '10 Keys to Happier Living' is APPRECIATING
    So, it's official: stopping to 'smell the roses' can actually make us happier. In psychology circles it's known as 'mindfullness', or 'living in the present'. There are even whole books written on the subject (the one titled, 'The Present' is a short, yet profound, read - and usually sits on our bookshelf, except I haven't unpacked that box yet from our recent move :) ).
    Instead, how often in life do we rush through on auto-pilot, trying to make the next deadline, or get to the next appointment, or finally drive the kids to school on time (gulp!)?
    By cramming more 'things' or activities into our lives, we're merely increasing our stress levels - and consequently decreasing our chances of improving our work- and life-satisfaction.
    So, what are some easy ways we can become more 'mindful' and learn to notice the world around us? Here are some tips I've gleaned along the way:
1. Get outdoors - take a walk, play ball with your kids or dog, breathe in a big gulp of fresh air, or lie on your back in the grass and spot cloud shapes.
2. Eat slowly - instead of inhaling your next meal, chew each mouthful slowly, and savour the individual flavours of your food. Make sure the TV is off. You'll find that slowing down your pace of eating does wonders for your digestion (and a bonus is that you're less likely to overeat).
3. Really listen - the next time your child or significant other talks to you, stop what you're doing, look at them, and really focus on their words. Once they get over the shock (lol!), you'll find it easier to connect with them and improve your communication.
4. Engage all your senses - try stopping for a moment and experiencing the world around you with each of your senses. What do you hear? see? taste? touch? smell? 
    The next time you're feeling stressed, or even simply feeling disconnected from life around you, take a moment to appreciate your surroundings - including smelling the odd rose or two - and the people in your world (appreciate them, that is - don't smell them, lol!). You're bound to feel happier as a result.
    So tell me - what are your tips for living more in the present? I'd love to hear about them on my Facebook page. Thanks. :)

    For all those of you who have absolutely no interest whatsoever in your health, longevity, energy levels, or how you fit in a pair of jeans, you can tune out now. For the rest of us - oh, it looks like everyone's still here (lol!) - read on.
    I'm continuing on with my posts relating to the '10 Keys to Happier Living' (check out the cool video at the end of this post), and this week's topic is (you guessed it) EXERCISING: Take care of your body.
   Now, before you scream, run away, and dive back under the covers of denial, I'd like to discuss some great research that shows how we can all fit 'moving more' into our already-busy schedules.
     I've been reading some research lately about the health effects of standing vs sitting (you heard it correctly: not 'huffing-and-puffing', just 'standing'). A couple of weeks ago I came across a really great article, and just felt that I had to share it.
        The article by Tony Fitzsimons, titled 'We're sitting ourselves to death', detailed an excellent (and highly-readable) summary of the latest research on this topic.
    In a nutshell, we're all sitting too much. And even if we exercise the recommended 30 minutes (or even an hour) daily, we're STILL sitting too much - up to 16 hours, in fact.
    Our human bodies were designed to be in constant movement during our waking hours. But now in our increasingly mechanised society, we have machines to do the work for us. For many of us, we even sit at a 'machine' (computer) at our workplaces, often for hours at a time.
    Interestingly, prior to the Second World War the concept of exercise was reasonably foreign. People were very active in their everyday lives, both at home and in their work (often on a farm), and didn't have a need to go to the gym.
    But back to 2011, most of us don't live that way anymore. We have to be more intentional about incorporating movement into our everyday lives, as unfortunately, the phrase 'use it or lose it' will always prove true. This also applies to our flexibility, strength, and muscle tone (and, in turn, our metabolisms).
    The Heart Foundation confirms that too much sitting is bad for our health, even if we're meeting minimum exercise requirements. They report on research revealing that too much sitting can increase your risk of heart disease by as much as 50 per cent.
    So, how does this all relate to increasing our happiness levels? One word: endorphins. These are mood-boosting chemicals that our bodies produce when we're physically active, giving us that feel-good rush. It's well-documented that participating in regular exercise can even be effective in treating certain types of depression.
    It all sounds like reason enough to move around more. So I'm signing off now to go do some vigorous housework (*sigh!).
    Oh, and for the record, I read most of the research articles for this blog post while standing up. :)
    Let me know your tips for including more physical activity in your day by sharing on my Facebook page. Thanks. :)

    As promised, this is the first of my blog posts discussing the 10 items outlined in the Action for Happiness (see my last post for more details).
    Consequently, I've been thinking a bit about GIVING (the first item on the list) and how it can make us happier. We all know this to be true ín theory - after all, the 'Golden Rule' is one of the first maxims drummed into us by our mothers when, as selfish and egocentric two-year-olds, we absolutely refuse to share with our sister/brother/friend/neighbour/dog.
    But as adults, sometimes it's difficult to make this connection. As our materialistic society espouses (just turn on the television for a primer): If you want to be happier, you need more 'stuff' - and to get more 'stuff', it seems crazy to give some away, right?!
    Not exactly ... 
    Giving is actually one of the key ways to make us feel happier, more altruistic. More human, and less animal (although animals are known to share, as well). Giving can also foster connection with others, showing them we care. And who doesn't want to feel more connected?
    Unfortuately, these days our view of the word 'connection' has more to do with our electronic gadgets, and less to do with a chat over the fence with our neighbour. 
    I've even fallen prey to this fallacy myself. This past week, my modem decided that it was going to randomly control when it would allow me to access the internet - depending on its moods, hormones, or some other strange signals I hadn't been able to decode. So I unplugged it and eagerly waited for another to arrive in the post.
    Those five or so days dragged by, with me beginning to feel varying degrees of disconnection. But from what? Sure, I wasn't able to email friends or family, or check out what was happening with all my 'friends' on Facebook, or update my blog, or do some more research for my latest novel.
     But life still went on. My immediate family were still there, thundering around with their little feet (and one pair of larger feet) in our wooden-floored house. A friend still dropped by for a coffee. We still went to church on Sunday, and talked with other friends.
    So, while the internet (and social media) can definitely help in us feeling connected, it's really only one form - and a second-rate one, at that.
    This week, I'm setting out to have more real connection with others (with actual, real people - not just thumbnail photos on a social networking website ;) ). And, as I mentioned above, one great way to do this is by giving. Not money, necessarily (although there's definitely a place for that), but in my time, energy, even ideas.
    I'm looking forward to the challenge, and will keep you updated with how it goes on my Facebook page. Pop on over and share your thoughts about ways you like to give, or things you do to stay connected with others. :)
P.S. My new modem is great at keeping me connencted to the internet - if I could just see the screen! My computer monitor has now conspired to launch into static at really crucial moments i.e. writing my latest scene, internet banking, blogging. Gotta love technology! :-/

    I'm sitting here at my favourite cafe, still damp from having an extra-hot, skinny latte (with half-strength vanilla syrup, of course) tipped over me by an over-exuberant four-year-old. My hand is stinging from the burning liquid, and my previously-luscious square of carrot cake with cream cheese icing is now a pile of soggy mush.
    It's just been 'one of those days'. Have you had one of those lately?
    The funny thing is that I'd been planning to write an inspirational blog piece today about a website I've recently come acrosss: www.actionforhappiness.org . I was going to write something profound about how it's interesting that when I/you discover something new/inspirational/challenging/life-changing, we often don't recognise its potential at first. Instead of reaching out and grabbing with both hands onto the new project/investment opportunity/job/story idea/trip-of-a-lifetime, we can sometimes hesitate, stuck in the paralysis of indecision that fear brings.
    Unfortunately, the words 'inspirational' and 'profound' somehow aren't in my vocabulary today. :)
    But, despite it being 'one of those days', I've managed to get up and dust myself off to continue with this planned blog post.
    On the above-mentioned website, you'll find the 10 Keys to Happier Living resource, based on latest scientific research about happiness (love the retro photos, too :)). The GREAT DREAM acronym outlines 10 key principles that positively impact on happiness levels:
    Giving
    Relating
    Exercising
    Appreciating
    Trying out
   
    Direction
    Resilience
    Emotion
    Acceptance
    Meaning

    For something a little different, I'm planning to explore these ten principles further over the coming weeks - not in a dry and factual way, but with 'skin on', based on the experiences of myself and others, and with tips on how to apply them to your life.
    I hope you'll join me on this journey as we discover more about how to 'get happy'. Who knows, you may even find yourself achieving a greater level of overall happiness and wellbeing.
    And hopefully, have less of 'those days'. :)
    I'd love to read your comments about how you managed to move on after a challenging circumstance/day - you can share it on my Facebook page.
    P.S. This is the second version of this post - the first inexplicably deleted itself. I can think of no other explanation than the title above. :)    

    I'm sure you've all heard of the 'slow food' movement. It developed in the '80s in response to the vast array of fast food chains springing up all over the globe, serving millions of kilojoule-laden, greasy meals to the masses.
    In my opinion, it appears that several factors helped drive this franchising phenomenon: cheap meals, fast meals, and slick marketing. The first and last factors aside, what interests me at the moment is our need these days to have everything 'right now'. Just as we don't like having to wait too long to wolf down our burgers, we also don't like to wait for much of anything else, such as (to name just a few):
- for our internet pages to load
- languishing in a telephone queue (or any sort of queue, for that matter)
- to get our tax cheque in the mail, or deposited into our account
- for the latest movie to be released
- snail mail
- for the results from our latest assignment/exam/medical tests
- the interminable wait to see if our manuscript has been accepted by an agent or publisher
- waiting for..... (insert your pet peeve here).

    You get the picture. We don't like to wait. I'm sure it has something to do with our genetic make-up, as young children are the worst.
     As I mentioned in my post last week, it's the school holidays, and I've promised to take my four energetic youngsters to see Cars 2 at the cinemas. Unfortunately, I made the fatal mistake of telling them about it prior to the longed-for event, which is planned for tomorrow. 
    A little word of advice here for parents (and parents-of-the-future, for that matter): don't tell your kids until the second before, prior to embarking on an exciting adventure/activity. Any earlier than that and you're just setting yourself up for uminaginable heckling: "Are we going to see Cars 2 tomorrow, Mum?" "What time are we going, Mum?" "How many hours left 'til we go, Mum?"
    I'm seriously considering purchasing a set of earplugs. Or three sets (one for my husband and our babysitter, too).
    All this musing about the 'microwave' generation of today has got me thinking about how this applies to writing - or more specifically, readers. If people these days are more likely to read a short blog than a book, a magazine than a manuscript, or a newspaper over a novel, then the onus is on us writers to adapt.
    Of course, there's the meteoric rise of the e-book, allowing readers everywhere to instantly download copies of their favourite reading material, from online ezines to the classics. 
    It will be interesting to observe how popular fiction evolves in response to this need to have, and do, everything quickly. Already, action-infused crime and thriller novels regularly top the charts, as do heart-pounding romances. And while some writers may be able to go against the flow regarding novel length, such as JK Rowling with her weighty Harry Potter tomes, will we also begin to see a dominance of shorter novels lining bookstore shelves (or online e-book stores)?
    Maybe. But it's my opinion that of more importance than book length will be the style of the writing itself. More than ever before, there is now a need for tight plotlines, realistic and well-developed characters, and snappy dialogue. Taking until the third chapter to hook the reader just isn't going to cut it anymore. Neither are jarring point-of-view slips, anaemic characters, or 'telling' rather than 'showing'.
    Movies are no different. To hold the attention of cinema-goers these days, they are brighter, bolder, and faster than ever before - not to mention coming out of the screen at you in 3D.
    I'm expecting Cars 2 tomorrow to follow this formula. But unfortunately (for this impatient Yours Truly), I'm just going to have to wait and see. :) 
    Feel free to share your waiting 'pet peeve' on my Facebook page.